November 30th, 2005

naked and ashamed

Appy polly loggies...

...to those of you who are owed a CD, book, or other piece of mail. My grand shipping plans last week were disrupted by terrorists, who simultaneously depleted my supplies of blank CDs, CD cases, printer ink, large envelopes, and stamps. All will be rectified in the next several days, however, and I thank you for your patience.

In the news, Donald Rumsfeld says that "quitting is not an exit strategy". Not surprisingly, he's wrong: quitting is an exit strategy. It may not be the best exit strategy, but if you withdraw, you have employed an exit strategy. Now, not having an exit strategy, that is not an exit strategy. And that's the method employed by the Bush administration up until recently, when the whole country decided to notice that they didn't have an exit strategy, and they came up with one, which still isn't an exit strategy (containing, as it does, no information about when we're going to, you know, exit), but is, at least, a fancy-looking binder with "Exit Strategy" written on it. I realize these are difficult distinctions to make, but we owe it to our country to try.

Also, the revelation that monkeys have accents is the best monkey-related news item since the discovery that monkeys (shown here eating Popsicles) are aware of injustice. Do you know what you find if you do a Yahoo! News search with keyword 'monkeys'? You get all these fantastic, 100%-real headlines:

- Proboscis monkeys at risk
- Monkeys grab food during the Monkey Buffet Festival
- Monkey gene chip may aid researchers
- Woman cares for neglected monkeys
- Mending monkeys
- Cheap monkeys attract scientists
- Visiting lawmakers see spat in Malaysia's Parliament sparked by "monkeys" insult
- Monkeys sign up to new journalism chat-board
- Monkeys' business is costing government millions
- Monkeys in our midst
it says here...

In lieu of IMBD Message Board excerpts...

...here are some "Statistically Improbable Phrases", one of the odder Amazon.com features, from books currently on my wish list.

primordial pain
great nausea
metaphysical comfort
jungle peace
unhuman actors
semiotic square
sheer thereness
electric ray
intramural warfare
remarkably black
parlor boy
cannon crackers
foreign workmen
libido dominandi
fat scout
bad makeup
slugging percentage
cryptic architecture
intelligent home
extract reprinted
your breath weapon
ooze drake
zombie dragons
unholy toughness
living blasphemy
salt mummy
animal laborans
narrated action
professional thinkers
his next time
clubhouse man
shortstop position
paleotechnic town
plow culture
green matrix

CONCLUSIONS:

1. I am a pretentious fuck.
2. I am a geek.
3. BAND NAMES!