January 26th, 2006

flavored with age

Questions need answers

- Is the slap on the wrist given to state-sanctioned torture-murderer Lewis Weishofer even more of a travesty than it initially seemed?

- Why does Thunder, daughter of Black Lightning, appear to have white skin and blonde hair?

- Did I have the most embarrassing moment of my professional career last night?

- How does a major chain bookstore have four books by Ann Coulter, three by Michelle Malkin, and none by James Wolcott?

- What should I have for lunch today?

- Will the post-structuralist movement ever reconcile its vast Kantian influences with its essentially Hegelian outlook?

- Isn't football over yet?

- Should I make prawns vindaloo tonight or shrimp tikka? Or, put another way, should I put my taste buds ahead of my esophagal lining?

- Who's that one guy, you know the guy I'm talking about? He's not Patrick Swayze, but he might as well be Patrick Swayze. He's the guy you got in the 1980s when Patrick Swayze wasn't available or wanted too much money. He was the KMart to Patrick Swayze's Target. COME ON YOU KNOW WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT. They both played Elvis at some point, and he was in the Baby Jessica movie, but not the Baby Jessica movie that Will Oldham was in, even though they were both playing the same role. He was the cut-rate Patrick Swayze. Clearly I am going insane. This whole post reads like really bad, PCP-addled Larry King. I like the Marlins this year! That Keira Knightly is a rude looker...Fischbein's deli makes a mean salmon schmear...Charleston, South Carolina! Hello!

Time I spent doing this: eight hundred hours

Letters you can make using an upside-down calculator, in alphabetical order: B, E, G, H, I, L, O, S
Letters you can make using an upside-down calculator, in reverse alphabetical order: S, O, L, I, H, G, E, B

Names of anatomical features you can spell using these letters: LEGS, BOOBS, BOILS.

Names of geographical locations you can spell using these letters: LEHIGH, HILO, LESBOS.

Way you could describe the outcome of a boxing match using these letters: HE BE LOSE.

Names of celebrities you can spell using these letters: Commissioner of Major League Baseball Bud SELIG, Giant Sand singer/guitarist Howie GELB, "7th Heaven"/"Texas Chainsaw Massacre" star Jessica BIEL.

Letters that would be left over if you took all of these out of the names of film directors Stephen Spielberg and Steven Soderberg and Democratic political consultant Paul Begala: TPN PR; TVN DRR; PAU AA.