February 2nd, 2006

technical difficulty

Gomn mothuk pi o hit

The keyboard on my beloved Mac stopped working last night. There is simply no rational explanation for why this happened. Some pundits and Johnny Knowbetters would blame the fact that I spilled soda on it; but if that was the cause, why did it keep working the other 73 times I spilled soda on the keyboard? Others would blame the fact that the keys are jammed with Dorito residue and imbedded cat hair. This is exactly the kind of partisan, blame-America-first thinking that is tearing our country apart!

At any rate, I must buy a new keyboard tonight. The old one will be shaved to powder and donated -- free of charge! -- to Third World children for use as a jock itch recuperative. The timing of the breakdown couldn't have come at a worse time for me; not only did the loss of half (and, eventually, all) of my functioning alphanumeric keys severely restrict the music-stealing file-sharing in which I was engaged, but it entirely nullified my ability to continue working on a freelance pitch I was writing. I suppose I could have continued, and hoped that the editor perceived the lack of at least 12 of the letters of the English alphabet in my piece as some sort of advance-guard experimentalism, but the piece is for the New York Times, and honestly, they've had enough trouble already lately.
flavored with age

y finalmente...

...it's your FRIDAY (OR THURSDAY IF I'M GOING TO VISIT MY AWESOME GIRLFRIEND ON FRIDAY) POLL!

Poll #665199 I like the poll AND the holl!

Did you watch President Bush's state of the union address?

Yes, I certainly did, Leonard
5(7.7%)
No, but I read a transcript of it later
4(6.2%)
No, because I forgot or was unable to do so
4(6.2%)
No, because I don't care about that bullshit
3(4.6%)
No, because I would rather eat poison than listen to that man talk for an hour
33(50.8%)
Did I do what in the who now?
1(1.5%)
I listened to it on the radio while sipping Moxie and playing par-cheesi
1(1.5%)
I am not an American, and I am starting to become resentful at the USocentric tone of your crappy LiveJournal, salopard
4(6.2%)
I wrote President Bush's state of the union address
0(0.0%)
Thank God the government is finally going to protect us from rogue ThunderCats
10(15.4%)

Are you going to watch the Super Bowl this weekend?

Yes, I certainly am, Leonard
15(23.1%)
Yes, and GO STEELERS
4(6.2%)
Yes, and GO SEAHAWKS
6(9.2%)
No, because I would rather be set on fire than watch a football game
7(10.8%)
No, because I will be busy doing something worthwhile instead
10(15.4%)
No, because I am in solitary confinement
2(3.1%)
The Super Bowl? That's this Sunday?
5(7.7%)
I only watch sporting events ending in "Cup"
2(3.1%)
Only for the commercials
5(7.7%)
That depends on whether any man-animal hybrids are going to be playing in the game
9(13.8%)

What adorable holiday mascots would you like to see join Punxsatawney Phil, the Groundhog's Day Groundhog?

Elm-O, the Arbor Day elm tree
2(3.1%)
Muharram'n Mustafa, the Islamic New Year's limbless orphan boy
0(0.0%)
Cholester Al, the Valentine's Day clogged artery
0(0.0%)
Jimmy O'Helpmey, the St. Patrick's Day derelict
1(1.5%)
QWI82-03-03, the Maundy Thursday microprocessor chip
1(1.5%)
Ka-Blammo, the Mayday anarchist's bomb
2(3.1%)
Yehudi, the Shavuot cheese log
3(4.6%)
Nigel, the Independence Day zombie redcoat
5(7.7%)
Lucky, the happy Ramadan piglet
1(1.5%)
Daisy, the Labor Day voided pension account
3(4.6%)
Torvald, the Lief Eriksson Day polar bear
6(9.2%)
Tootsie, the Veteran's Day foot
1(1.5%)
Giblet, the Thanksgiving Clostridium botulinum bacterium
0(0.0%)
Bill O'Reilly, the Christmas jackass
1(1.5%)
other (see Comments)
1(1.5%)

Who is your favorite German filmmaker?

Werner Herzog
7(11.1%)
Wim Wenders
7(11.1%)
Ranier Werner Fassbinder
1(1.6%)
Fritz Lang
12(19.0%)
Leni Riefenstahl
3(4.8%)
Wolfgang Petersen
1(1.6%)
Max Ophuls
2(3.2%)
F.W. Murnau
2(3.2%)
Percy Adlon
0(0.0%)
Douglas Sirk
2(3.2%)
Margarethe von Trotta
0(0.0%)
Roland Emmerich
0(0.0%)
Uwe Boll
3(4.8%)
like any sane human being, I don't have a favorite German filmmmaker
22(34.9%)
other (see Comments)
1(1.6%)

Recommend to me a television show you think I might enjoy but am not currently watching.