March 24th, 2006

blowhard

Clown College

Over at Town Hall, Mike S. Adams keeps raising the bar for stupid, this time by penning the whitest of white-guy critiques of Kanye West (who will apparently be performing at his college over Spring Break). Proving what a circumspect fellow is he, Adams waits until the end of the article to say "fo shizzle". Curiously, though, Adams, current regency chair of the Bitchdowne School and the most woman-hating of all the Town Hall misogynists, specifically attacks West for woman-hating; in fact, he mentions that his university had the gall to invite Kanye and Ludacris after two women were murdered on campus. I think the text he was going for was "how can you say the school is a safe place for women and then bring in two people who say 'bitch'?", but the subtext is pretty clear: "how can you say the school is a safe place for white women and then bring in these two savage negroes?"

Meanwhile, overworked Town Hall intern Daniel Son writes a piece about how 24 is totally awesome and wouldn't it be great if life was really like that? Strangely, the word 'torture' doesn't appear in his review, but it's fairly obvious that he's pining for the day that President Bush can put the coals to some treasonous raghead.

Finally, Atari enthusiast and professional offspring Jonah Goldberg, after mocking Helen Thomas, who "all but called President Bush a lying warmonger who invaded Iraq for no legitimate reason" (uh...what's the outrageous part of that accusation?), goes on to write a column in which every sentence containing the words "we know" is a lie, a distortion or a deliberate misstatement.
i give up

Because you suckers demanded it

Next week: MORE of your insane fucking questions!

Poll #696998 Friday PEOPLE'S CHOICE Poll!

What is indisputably the best movie musical of all time? (from happinesstogo)

"West Side Story"
12(17.6%)
"Singin' in the Rain"
8(11.8%)
"Fiddler on the Roof"
2(2.9%)
"Camelot"
1(1.5%)
"An American in Paris"
1(1.5%)
"The Sound of Music"
1(1.5%)
"The Wizard of Oz"
4(5.9%)
"Grease"
2(2.9%)
"Chicago"
2(2.9%)
"The Rocky Horror Picture Show"
6(8.8%)
"Moulin Rouge"
0(0.0%)
"Willie Wonka"
2(2.9%)
"Cabaret"
2(2.9%)
other (see Comments)
20(29.4%)
Musicals fucking blow, man
5(7.4%)

What do you fear about getting old? (from mckennl)

excretory control issues
0(0.0%)
sexual dysfunction
0(0.0%)
those damn teenagers
0(0.0%)
misplacing my brain
3(4.4%)
bifocals
0(0.0%)
death, generally
4(5.9%)
being asked if I'd like the senior discount
0(0.0%)
having the AARP on by bozack 24/7
0(0.0%)
the inevitable day when I say that all the music today is just a bunch of noisy crap
2(2.9%)
pattern baldness
2(2.9%)
being called "sir" or "ma'am"
0(0.0%)
people asking me things in a very loud, slow voice
2(2.9%)
becoming my parents
0(0.0%)
basically, I fear everything about getting old
3(4.4%)
I totally embrace elder-person-hood
5(7.4%)

What was the gravest failure of the Third Republic? (from piratehead)

the Dreyfus Affair
2(3.1%)
the Maginot Line
7(10.8%)
unchecked anti-Semitism
6(9.2%)
fractious in-fighting between Republicans and Monarchists
1(1.5%)
an insistence on punitive peace terms with Germany after WWI
20(30.8%)
mishandling of colonial territories
5(7.7%)
the appointment of a mentally ill president
2(3.1%)
the fact that it happened in France
5(7.7%)
letting those Impressionists strut around like they owned the place
6(9.2%)
damn dirty apes
11(16.9%)

Who was your favorite 1980s-era 'scientific' wrestler? (from fidelity_astro)

Ted DiBiase
6(9.1%)
Ricky Steamboat
4(6.1%)
Ric Flair
10(15.2%)
Curt Hennig
3(4.5%)
Greg Gagne
0(0.0%)
Greg Valentine
0(0.0%)
Bret Hart
7(10.6%)
Jake Roberts
1(1.5%)
Rick Rude
2(3.0%)
Shawn Michaels
0(0.0%)
some Japanese asshole
3(4.5%)
some Mexican asshole
5(7.6%)
other (see Comments)
4(6.1%)
me
4(6.1%)
OMG Leonard, don't you know pro wrestling is totally fake?
17(25.8%)

How and why do you hate America? (from slammerkinbabe)