March 30th, 2006

blowhard

"I may be wrong, but that's my goddamn job"

One of the great things about reading right-wing blogs, and by "great" I mean "hilariously depressing", is how completely unafraid they are to be wrong. I wonder sometimes if this isn't a strength -- an advantage the right has over the left, that as long as they can briefly alarm people into doing what they want, they don't really give a shit if they're proven flagrantly wrong later on. Whereas the left is concerned with being right, so they spend a lot of time flailing around, making sure that Ts are crossed and Is are dotted and mistakes have been avoided, and all of the sudden, whoops the GOP won another election and we're invading Liberia or something.

Anyway, Little Green Footballs, which I don't read very often anymore because there's only so many times I can stand to read how Arabs are subhuman murderous filth who should be wiped out with nuclear weapons, is a pretty funny testament to this utterly shameless willingness to be wrong and not really give a shit. Scrolling through a week's worth of posts, you see:

- a post about a now-proven-bogus prison video of Saddam Hussein demanding that someone's ears be chopped off

- a post about a now-proven-bogus photograph of a peacefully bustling street in downtown Baghdad (this was put up by a GOP congressional candidate to 'prove' that there's plenty of good news in Iraq the media are ignoring; it was almost immediately established that the photo was actually of a suburb of Istanbul, Turkey)

- a post about "concrete" terror threats to the Israeli election by Islamic Jihad, which were sure to take hundreds of Jewish lives and would be ignored or blamed on Israeli oppression by the media (there were zero terror attacks before, during or after the Israeli elections, and the only arrests made were of hardcore right-wing Jewish settler groups)

There's something insanely principled about being so fucking dogmatic that you just leave all your myriad errors up there for the world to see. It's a testament to how little any of his fans care about right or wrong (as opposed to ideologically correct or incorrect) that Chuck Johnson's readership continues to grow no matter how many times he has to pull his head out of his ass.
flavored with age

Moving on

I'm posting another People's Choice poll today, since I'll be far too busy moving to Minnesota to live with my awesome girlfriend ninafarina and her wonderful daughter to do it tomorrow or over the weekend. So you'll have to take your medicine a day early, so I can take the biggest, best step of my entire goddamn life, okay?

Things we learned from last week's poll include: I was able to bully you into agreeing with me that West Side Story is the best movie musical of all time (runner-up was Singin' in the Rain, followed by 'musicals suck my smelly ass'); more of you fear peeing yourselves than losing your mind or death; shockingly, you considered the Dreyfus Affair the second-least-important failure of the Third Republic (rampaging gorillas outnumbered it by a more than 5-1 margin); Ric Flair was the most popular wrestler named Ric(k), but the majority of you chose to inform me that wrestling is fake; and hoolifan wins the "Why do you hate America?" prize for his response: because I live in it.

And now, another poll featuring your batshit questions.

Poll #701007 People's Choice: Chapter II!

What's your favorite term for a toupee? (from angrycargo)

Wig
9(12.0%)
Rug
43(57.3%)
Piece
13(17.3%)
Toop
7(9.3%)
other (see Comments)
3(4.0%)

Should game theory be considered a science? (from sharpshinyclaws)

Sure, why not
35(46.7%)
Nope, no way
9(12.0%)
Maybe, who knows
6(8.0%)
Should what be who now?
17(22.7%)
This is the worst poll ever
8(10.7%)

Cheese! (from subversivegrrl)

cottage/Neufchatel/cream/chevre
0(0.0%)
Ricotta/mozzarella/paneer/Geitost
1(1.4%)
Brie/Camembert/goat cheese
1(1.4%)
Roquefort/Gorgonzola/Stilton/blue
2(2.7%)
Limburger/Munster/Appenzeller
0(0.0%)
Cheddar/Cheshire/Gloucester
2(2.7%)
Colby/Jack/Co-Jack
1(1.4%)
Gouda/Edam
3(4.1%)
Swiss/Emmental/Gruyère
1(1.4%)
Parmesan/Pecorino/Romano
2(2.7%)
Feta
2(2.7%)
Farmer's
0(0.0%)
cottage
0(0.0%)
Velveeta/American/E-Z Cheese
1(1.4%)
other (see Comments)
5(6.8%)

What Muppet do you think is most likely to kill someone? (from hipsterdetritus)

Animal
5(6.7%)
Fozzie Bear
3(4.0%)
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew
16(21.3%)
Gonzo
1(1.3%)
Miss Piggy
7(9.3%)
Rizzo the Rat
1(1.3%)
Dr. Teeth
5(6.7%)
The Swedish Chef
5(6.7%)
Sam the Eagle
8(10.7%)
Beaker
13(17.3%)
Scooter
2(2.7%)
Statler
0(0.0%)
Waldorf
0(0.0%)
that one guy whose name I forget who throws fish
7(9.3%)
other (see Comments)
2(2.7%)

What cultural artifact (book/TV show/movie/etc.) or creator (band/writer/artist/musician/director/etc.) do you feel guilty about not appreciating? (from elston)