April 21st, 2006

it says here...

What we learned from last week's poll

1. The people have spoken, and by a Nixon-in-1972ish landslide, have decided that, contra my girlfriend, who made a worse showing than John Anderson in 1980, hummus and pita for breakfast is delicious and not at all abnormal and disgusting. However, valuing as I do my relationship with the beautiful, talented, and brilliant ninafarina, I pledge to be a uniter and not a divider (or a decider, or deciderer, or whatever George W. Bush says he is these days), and not gloat. Particularly in light of later results.

2. Aside from wimps like myself who let sanity and mood determine the right number of postprandial cocktails, the most popular answer was "two" or "two as long as they are doubles". Eminently respectible, these answers, and I'm not even made that an infinite number more of you picked "none" than picked "sixteen", you sissy marys.

3. "Dangerous" and "commonplace" ran neck and wattle for the best way to describe using LiveJournal to settle domestic issues, but in the end, "dangerous" won out. All I can tell you is that it paid off this time, because I'm not sleeping in the basement. Yet.

4. In a resounding victory for ninafarina, not one of you ("Not one! Not one of you!" says Jesus Christ Superstar) supported my plan to buy 28 bottles of liquor because, given that God blessed me with a wing-wang, I can do whatever I want. The vast majority of you voted "your girlfriend is right"; around here, the vote was a much tighter 1-0, but hers is the only vote that counts. Since that poll was posted, I have in fact purchased three bottles of liquor; U.N. inspectors are said to be looking into the matter.

5. The winner of the "think of a way I could further wreck my reputation following this poll" question is mizliz for suggesting that I not only go ahead and buy the 28 bottles, but ask my girlfriend to pay for it because I'm broke. Honorable mentions go to substitute for speculating that I don't even actually have a girlfriend (which was certainly a risk after this poll), elston for suggesting that I print out the poll and wave it in her face yelling that she must yield to the vox populi, and gatiss who actually thinks my reputation has improved with this poll. ninafarina would like it known that (a) she was amused by substitute's suggestion that I also buy 28 hats to go with the liquor and (b) she is deeply unnerved at how many of you asked for drunk naked pictures of her.
hear ye hear ye

Totally unrelated, but Kinsley today: "Take seething lessons from Charles Krauthammer".

Someday I will post something other than polls, political crankery, and how work is going. Until that time, I hope you have enjoyed today's polls, political crankery, and information about how work is going.

Poll #714392 Musicology

I like Kate Bush far more than is decent for a heterosexual American male. Am I crazy?

No, you are not, because Kate Bush is super total awes
25(44.6%)
No, you are not, because you are a big homo and really, what can we expect?
3(5.4%)
Yes, you are, because Kate Bush is super total blows
8(14.3%)
Yes, you are, because Kate Bush belongs to us gals and you go find your own stinky penis singer
1(1.8%)
I have no opinion on this ridiculous question
19(33.9%)

What band or performer has the most ridiculously amusing song titles?

Carcass
1(1.8%)
Anal Cunt
15(26.8%)
GG Allin
3(5.4%)
Sufjan Stevens
6(10.7%)
Keiji Haino
1(1.8%)
Fear Before the March of Flames
0(0.0%)
Godspeed You Black Emperor!
2(3.6%)
I hate you, you fucking pretentious asshole
0(0.0%)
I need to to provide a list of several song titles by each before I can decide
24(42.9%)
some other band or performer I will mention in Comments
4(7.1%)

What are your favorite things about "American Idol"?

the singing
0(0.0%)
the gamesmanship
0(0.0%)
Simon being bitchy
0(0.0%)
Paula being a drunken ho-bag who loves everyone no matter how bad they suck
0(0.0%)
thinking about how Ryan Seacrest has a huge career even though he doesn't appear to have any talent at anything
0(0.0%)
the clothes
0(0.0%)
the racism
1(1.8%)
the product placement
1(1.8%)
has-been pop stars "mentoring" the contestants
0(0.0%)
how no one even cares about Randy Jackson
0(0.0%)
the cheesy promo videos
1(1.8%)
the voting
0(0.0%)
the way it reminds me of variety shows that last aired 30 years before I was born
0(0.0%)
the fact that I don't watch it
28(50.0%)
some other thing I will mention in Comments
0(0.0%)

What is the most irritating rock-critic word or phrase?

"seminal"
11(19.6%)
"post-rock"
3(5.4%)
"visceral"
2(3.6%)
"authenticity"
4(7.1%)
"eclectic"
1(1.8%)
"triumphant"
0(0.0%)
"alt-"
13(23.2%)
"transgressive"
3(5.4%)
"fiesty" (when used to mean "hot" in describing a young female performer)
2(3.6%)
any reference to "soul"
6(10.7%)
"essential"
1(1.8%)
"vital" (when used to mean "of my generation and not yet deceased")
1(1.8%)
"spiritual" used to describe anything but actual religious music
2(3.6%)
"Hi, I'm Dave Marsh"
2(3.6%)
some other thing I will mention in Comments
5(8.9%)

What is your theme song?