July 10th, 2006

party time

Weekend impressions

1. My awesome girlfriend ninafarina and I did some postering for her LitPac event (which you can learn about, donate to, or decide to attend here. It was loads of hot fun in the summertime, and it reminded me of my old punk rock days putting up flyers except (a) I wasn't drunk and (b) the police weren't chasing us. We also went to Costco, which has the desalutory effect of filling me with horrid visions of out-of-control, rampaging consumerist orgy fantasies. I pretty much want to buy everything there. I was having lustful dreams about a wheeled 50-bottle wine refrigerator, and I don't even drink wine.

2. Li'l' Duce's birthday was on Thursday, and her birthday party was Saturday. Good times, they were had by all, most especially the three-year-old herself, who got enough presents to fill two cars. One of them, from her dad, was a miniature automobile that was roughly as hard to assemble as an actual car, but which costs far less to insure. Her dad and I assembled it in the garage, cursing floridly as the girls sat inside in air-conditioned comfort and laughed at us. On the way home from the party, we had the sun in our eyes for a lot of the trip, and Li'l' Duce yelled from the back seat "SHUT UP, SUN!"

3. Cities & Knights of Catan was played (Shauna, her brother-in-law, and myself), and ninafarina beat us down like mangy gutter dogs.
flavored with age

No Polling on the Dance Floor

Maybe I should just switch these to mondays, since I'm always busy on Fridays for some reason...

Poll #766002 Montpollier

What spam e-mail is MOST likely to get your attention?

one which delineates the location and attitude of horny sluts in my area
3(5.9%)
one that promises to rid me of useless, ugly flab
1(2.0%)
one that sets forth a medicinal solution to my erectile functionality issues
0(0.0%)
one that indicates the possibility of investing in previously unknown small-cap stocks
0(0.0%)
one that instructs me on how to receive prescription drugs sans prescription
2(3.9%)
one that entices me into Africa-based business investments
5(9.8%)
one that solicits me to marry an Eastern European not of my acquaintance
1(2.0%)
one that appears to be from my bank, utility or internet goods purveyor
9(17.6%)
one that tries to sell me software that I don't know what it does
2(3.9%)
one that beckons me to vote for one political party or the other
4(7.8%)
one that requests that I settle once and for all the question of which of two well-known products is the better
2(3.9%)
one that urges I purchase $1000 worth of goods from a vendor I used once, five years ago
5(9.8%)
one featuring extreme closeups of human genitalia
3(5.9%)
you have forgotten my favorite one, which I will detail in comments
9(17.6%)
I don't get spam, because (insert smug explanation here)
5(9.8%)

Which sporting event most snaps your bean?

Wimbledon finals
7(13.7%)
World Cup finals
12(23.5%)
Home Run Derby/MLB All-Star Game
11(21.6%)
NASCAR Chicagoland Speedway NexTel Cup
1(2.0%)
I don't like sports because I am an "intellectual"
20(39.2%)

You act all snooty, you snooty-acting snoots, but you know you will see at least one big stupid summer movie. Admit your shame.

"Little Man"
0(0.0%)
"You, Me and Dupree"
0(0.0%)
"Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest"*
6(12.2%)
"The Devil Wears Prada"
3(6.1%)
"Click"
0(0.0%)
"Nacho Libre"
0(0.0%)
"The Fast and the Furious 3: Tokyo Drift"**
0(0.0%)
"Lady in the Water"
1(2.0%)
"Clerks II"***
3(6.1%)
"Miami Vice"
0(0.0%)
"Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby"
0(0.0%)
"The Wicker Man"
1(2.0%)
"World Trade Center"
0(0.0%)
"Jackass: Number Two"
1(2.0%)
"Barnyard"
0(0.0%)

Porn- ?

-ography
3(5.8%)
-ectomy
1(1.9%)
-ocracy
8(15.4%)
-agogy
0(0.0%)
-athlon
3(5.8%)
-icide
2(3.8%)
-ergy
0(0.0%)
-oholic
2(3.8%)
-illion
2(3.8%)
-ekinesis
14(26.9%)
-omancy
5(9.6%)
-ometer
1(1.9%)
-ologist
5(9.6%)
-ophagia
2(3.8%)
-ivorous
4(7.7%)

In what patriotic activity did you engage over Independence Day?



*: Seriously: explain to me this fascination with pirates. I just don't get it. I don't get why they're so funny. The whole success of that movie, to me, appeared to be Johnny Depp's mincing portrayal of the lead, which, I guess, gave it some sort of fag-hag crossover appeal, but beyond that, what's so funny? I don't get it. See also: ninjas.

**: Wait, hold on, when did The Fast and the Furious become a goddamn franchise?

***: Come on. What is WRONG with you people? Don't encourage that man.