November 6th, 2006

lex you idiot

It's not about writing a GOOD novel, case in point

I did some more Wri'ing of my Na No this Mo. A new, and much worse, sample is up here; I'm about 2000 words short of where I'm 'supposed' to be, possibly because it's five days in and I've already lost interest in one of my main characters. Anyway, there it is, if you want to suck along with Mitch.

GOOD DECISIONS:
- Making a three-way narrative involving different characters, only one of whom is interesting
- Giving one main character an overlong, difficult-to-pronounce-and-spell Greek name which I keep forgetting
- Making another main character Mexican-American, so I have to rely on my extremely crappy knowledge of the Spanish language
- Making the book plot-heavy, seeing as I hate plot and I hate writing plot-progressive elements
- Doing this in the first place

Mangia!
more good news

Happy What's One More Dead Iraqi? Day!

What else do James Lileks and I have in common, other than being big windy blowhards oblivious to how much we annoy people with our clueless pop-culture vaporings and gasbag politics? We have both worked with Miss Minnesota.

***

If Town Hall can be used as a bellweather of the GOP mood with elections on the way, things look bleak for the Republican Party. The whole website has the stink of desperation to it, with barely an issue to call their own; nobody even dares to mention the Iraq mess, and the best they can do is lonely Donald "Who?" Lambro saying that if the Democrats win you can kiss off your upper-class tax cuts. OH NOES, says America, as they reach for the (D) button. Well, there's always John-Kerry-bashing, as a full six columns (Thomas Sowell, Nathan Tabor, Michael Barone, Suzanne Fields, Ruben Navarrette and Kevin McCullough) devoted to his stuck-in-Iraq speech just as if Kerry was running for something. (Barone helpfully points out his failure to grasp metaphor by saying "the statement is literally untrue: No one is 'stuck in Iraq' unless he or she volunteers".) But as usual, the prize peach is Doug Giles, who is always willing to go one step beyond and become a total right-wing cartoon, as he does when he rewrites John Lennon's 'Imagine' as an anti-Muslim ditty. Good on you, Doug! Others talk, you deliver.

***

When Town Hall lets you down, of course, there's always WENN entertainment news at imdb.com to get you through the day:

Hollywood hardman Russell Crowe has blasted the US legal system for making a big deal of his phone assault in a New York City hotel last year...he says, "Where I come from, a confrontation like that, as basic and simple as that, would have been satisfied with a handshake and an apology... Your (US) legal system is very open to be misused."

Yes, that's the problem with the American legal system, all right: it's open to flagrant abuses, to the point that if a famous celebrity beats a hotel employee with a phone, the celebrity could actually be arrested.

There's also this delightful headline, which proves that sometimes a guy can actually come around to the same opinion everyone else in the country has already held for the past 20 years:

George Lucas: "I Don't Want To Make Movies Anymore"
hear ye hear ye

It's Monday! Entertain me!

It's a little thing I like to call...

Poll #861502 Karl "Madman" Mundt-Day Poll

Who's your favorite post-structuralist?

Jacques Derrida. He's dreamy!
6(15.4%)
Michel Foucault. Sooooo cute!
4(10.3%)
Julia Kristeva, perky and sassy.
3(7.7%)
Roland Barthes. Adorable!
3(7.7%)
Emmanuel Lévinas. He's my man!
1(2.6%)
I hope Claude Lévi-Strauss asks me to the prom.
0(0.0%)
Jacques Lacan-do!
2(5.1%)
Gilles Deleuze can repeat my differend anytime!
0(0.0%)
Jean Baudrillard gets me wet.
0(0.0%)
Judith Butler gets me hard.
2(5.1%)
Jean-François Lyotard + me = TLA!
0(0.0%)
Félix Guattari is my best friend forever.
2(5.1%)
Wait, Claude Lévi-Strauss isn't a post-structuralist, you liar! MOM, LEONARD'S A LIAR
6(15.4%)
I don't know who any of these people are, and I don't care.
8(20.5%)
You forgot my favorite post-structuralist, so hott!
2(5.1%)

Hey, everybody, let's hang Saddam Hussein!

Yeah! Good idea!
0(0.0%)
That'll solve everything!
5(12.5%)
All the dead people will come back to life, right?
4(10.0%)
Why, just thinking about it makes me want to vote Republican!
2(5.0%)
We can get some pizza, maybe watch the game. Oh, wait, didn't you say hang WITH Saddam Hussein?
4(10.0%)
Finally, the war is over! The War Against Saddam Hussein Not Being Hanged!
2(5.0%)
Hey, has anyone seen Osama bin-Laden?
23(57.5%)

I like sports! The sports I like are:

football
1(2.9%)
baseball
2(5.7%)
basketball
1(2.9%)
soccer
2(5.7%)
hockey
1(2.9%)
tennis
0(0.0%)
golf
0(0.0%)
boxing
1(2.9%)
car racing
0(0.0%)
bike racing
1(2.9%)
some other kind of racing
0(0.0%)
track & field
0(0.0%)
lacrosse
0(0.0%)
curling
0(0.0%)
some other thing with a bunch of hyperpituitary shitheads mixing it up
2(5.7%)

What art biopic are you most looking forward to?

"Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus"
3(8.1%)
"Felt: An Imaginary Portrait of Joseph Beuys"
4(10.8%)
"Furry: An Imaginary Portrait of Reed Waller"*
3(8.1%)
"Furley: An Imaginary Portrait of Don Knotts"
20(54.1%)
"Thirty-Two Short Films About Dorothy Wiggin"
7(18.9%)

Write a short story -- very short, like less than 250 words -- involving you and a bulletproof vest.



*: If you get this joke, you are a loser.**
**: While 'researching' the joke, I came across this Wikipedia entry, which has the saddest accompanying graphic of all time.