November 27th, 2006

surprise i'm nuts

Kim's Super-Special Doomsday Fort DO NOT ENTER

You know how every nerdy kid in the world, when they're like eight years old, draws a cutaway picture of a fort or a mountain or a castle, and makes little diagrams of all the nerdy shit they would want in it if they could actually build their dream fort? Like, there's a room with a giant TV and "Star Wars" playing 24/7, and there's a robot wearing a Batman costume who patrols the grounds, and the kitchen serves peanut butter and Mrs. Butterworth's sandwiches and you get to it by sliding down a pole? That kind of thing?

Well, Kim Jong Il is that nerdy kid. The only difference is he grew up to run his own country.
blowhard

James Lileks is a cranky old man who hates everything

He's off on another tear today about how kids' movies are ruining everything by, and here's where I'm not exactly clear on his point, either teaching children about collectivism or teaching children about individualism. I guess he's trying to say that kids shouldn't be taught that it's good to be members of a community, but that they also shouldn't be taught that you should be too much of an individual or that conformity is bad. Or something. He actually calls the flick "muddle-headed twaddle", but there are no photos or video so I can't say for sure if he was standing on his front porch shaking his fist at kids going past on their bikes or throwing his hat to the ground and stomping his foot in rage. Oh, also, the movie that inspires this mysterious rant? He hasn't seen it.

He goes on to make calamityjon's head explode:

I get a little tired of the elevation of “Peanuts” to the exalted pantheon of the Greatest Strips Ever; that thing coasted for a quarter of a century. I appreciate the innovations it brought to the page, and having seen more than my share of old microfiche comic sections, I can attest to how fresh and clean it looked when compared with the musty deadwood stacked around it. It was a lovely, heartfelt strip with a gentle soul, but genius it’s not.
banana

Poll #186: The Tryptophantom Menace

Special "HOORAY FOR HOLLYWOOD" edition!

Poll #876281 I learn SO much from these polls. SO much.

How often do you go see movies in a theatre?

Once a week or more
4(6.2%)
Once every few weeks
19(29.2%)
Once every few months
16(24.6%)
A few times a year
17(26.2%)
Perhaps once a year
7(10.8%)
I do not go see movies in theatres
2(3.1%)
What are the "movies"?
0(0.0%)

What would you like done with your body when you die?

I would like to be buried.
5(7.7%)
I would like to be cremated.
17(26.2%)
I would like to be stuffed.
0(0.0%)
I would like to be blown up.
5(7.7%)
I would like to be eaten.
3(4.6%)
I would like to be sunk under the waves.
2(3.1%)
I would like to be turned into a zombie.
3(4.6%)
I don't really give a fuck because I will be D-E-A-D.
20(30.8%)
I will never die.
4(6.2%)
Some other thing.
6(9.2%)

Check the box if you do NOT like a particular style/genre/period of filmmaking.

silent film comedy
0(0.0%)
German expressionist films
0(0.0%)
the French new wave
0(0.0%)
Italian neorealist cinema
0(0.0%)
Iranian naturalist cinema
1(1.8%)
American noir
0(0.0%)
Italian 'magical realism'
0(0.0%)
the Russian classical period
0(0.0%)
Hong Kong action cinema
0(0.0%)
1970s American art films
0(0.0%)
Eastern European animated film
1(1.8%)
the Golden Age of Hollywood musicals
1(1.8%)
I don't have any idea what these are
1(1.8%)
you are pretentious
1(1.8%)
you forgot Poland
8(14.0%)

So, how's it going in Iraq?

Great!
0(0.0%)
I hear great!
1(1.5%)
Good, not great
0(0.0%)
Stayin' the course
4(6.2%)
Could be better
9(13.8%)
However the president says it's going
2(3.1%)
What are these "Iraq"?
1(1.5%)
Okay, I guess
0(0.0%)
It is my duty as a patriotic troop-supporting American not to know how it's going
5(7.7%)
One word, seven letters, sounds like "be it numb"
43(66.2%)

What book, comic, rock opera, TV show, short story, and/or other cultural product would you like to see made into a movie?