November 28th, 2006

flavored with age

But first, cranks!

Lileks is still pissed that his local paper hasn't responded to his second-hand snitching on the imams who got kicked off the plane. He is sure that, given the association of one of them with a suspicious charity, they are murderous devil-dogs, and yet, the paper will not investigate. Possibly because they were released without charges, suggesting that no crime was committed and therefore there is no story, but the mighty squeaker of Minnesota will not be swayed by such logic. He knows terror is afoot, and what's more, Keith Ellison is probably involved somehow, because Keith Ellison is a Muslim, and they're all the same, those Muslims. Best of all, Lileks promises more of his impotent flailing about over this non-issue tomorrow! Watch this space for a boring response.

Speaking of Keith Ellison, the fellow has, by virtue of being America's first Muslim elected official, thrown the right wing for a loop. For you see, those people are terrorists! Terrorist terror terrors of a terror faith that believes in terror with a side helping of terror multicultural woman-hating war jihad destruction circumcision slavery contempt western-hating force their values down our terror! Clearly they mean us harm, as evidenced by Ellison's desire to take his vow of office using a Q'uran, instead of the book we like! Dennis Prager lays it right on the line:

Keith Ellison, D-Minn., the first Muslim elected to the United States Congress, has announced that he will not take his oath of office on the Bible, but on the bible of Islam, the Koran.

He should not be allowed to do so -- not because of any American hostility to the Koran, but because the act undermines American civilization.

That's right! If Keith gets his way, he will undermine American civilization. Prager, whose son has a black friend but it's okay because he's a Christian, goes on to compare the Q'uran to Mein Kampf and make the claim that Ellison taking his oath on the Q'uran will do more damage to America than the 9/11 attacks. Then a cuckoo-bird springs out of his forehead and flies away.

Elsewhere on Town Hall, some creature named Don Kroah kick-starts the War on Christmas season with a bang, Bill Murchison claims the existence of the Religious Right is entirely due to crazy liberals trying to ban God from public life, and Frank Gaffney says the Iraq Study Group is doomed to fail because it is headed up by a cabal of Jew-haters.

It's morning in America!
hit the road sucker

More Signs and Portents

So on the way home from work yesterday, I see this bumper sticker:

"My governor is a Jewish carpenter."

My governor.

Now, leaving aside the pervasive fanaticism and, frankly, slavish fanboyishness in this sentence (it's like having a bumper sticker that says "I voted for President Superman"), it kills the joke. Because, see, the original gag -- "My boss is a Jewish carpenter" -- is actually kinda funny. You see it, and assuming you haven't heard it before, you think, oh, huh, this guy is open-minded, his boss is a WAIT HOLD UP HAHA I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE, JESUS. It's not Groucho Marx, but it's moderately clever by the standards of Christian bumper sticker slogans.

But changing this up -- look, a person's boss could be anybody. But everyone knows who the governor is, and you look at this, and you have a totally different reaction: "Wait, did a Jewish carpenter run against Rick Perry? I...what?" IT MAKES NO SENSE AND IT KILLS THE JOKE.

Just so you don't think I'm just picking on the Jesus-jumpers here (although they make it hard not to), I parked next to a car today that had a bumper sticker reading "DOING MY PART TO PISS OFF THE CHRISTIAN RIGHT". Which is an admirable goal, I suppose, if you've got nothing better to do, but how does driving a nondescript white Honda piss off the Christian Right?