December 5th, 2006

surprise i'm nuts

Which of today's foto posts is the most depressing? This one?

As you can see from these recent photographs, my hair has gotten very, very long and fat. An interesting development, however, is that I also appear to be going bald. Or something. I mean, I still have ridiculously huge amounts of hair, but not as much ridiculously much morer as once I had did. All I know is that hair is coming off of my head, which it never did before without the aid of some sort of tool. So, I’m going bald, or dying of radiation poisoning, which, for all practical intents, is the same thing.

I haven’t quite decided whether to go out in a blaze of ‘Rab-fro glory, or start shaving my head, or just get one of those shameless ‘dos where balding failures lust let their body go crazy and wait until they have a fringe of reverse-smiley face on the back of their skulls, but the only way to find out would be to consult a hairstyling expert, which would involve me not being very lazy, so that’s not going to happen.

In other inevitable-ruin news, I am thinking of firing my mental health care professional. The first reason is that this mental health care professional wants to put me on drugs, which I am not entirely convinced I need. Of course, many people, possibly including my mental health care professional, might argue that my belief that it is not necessary to go on these drugs is simply further evidence that I should. I don’t know about that, but I do know that my mental health care professional does not seem to appreciate my admittedly non-mentally-healthy sense of humor, and my suggestion that I simply start smoking weed again, because it makes me feel really good, was not met with enthusiasm. A second thing is that my mental health care professional and I are not entirely in accord over the issue of which aspects of my personality are problems that need addressing and which are merely things about me that may not be considered by some people as problematic. Now, again, there are those who might say that this is merely evidence of how fucked up I am, and how I’m not really approaching this getting healthy thing with the right frame of mind, and I cannot really argue with anyone who might say such a thing. I honestly don’t know what I’m doing. But speaking of arguing, I did that with my mental health care professional, and I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t be arguing with my mental health care professional. Finally, my mental health care professional is located on the grounds of a religious institution, and in order to get to my mental health care professional’s office, I have to walk under a huge archway decorated with a flag and a yellow ribbon and the slogan “GOD BLESS AND PROTECT OUR COALITION TROOPS”. I have considered bringing up in therapy that this makes me feel odd, but I don’t know what could be done about it. There are those who might say that keeping such a thing from my mental health care professional is yet more evidence of how I am sick and bad and am not approaching this whole therapy thing in the spirit in which it is intended, and to them I would say, again, I believe you are probably right, and I am doomed.

On the other hand, I do feel pretty good the last week or so. Damn you, complex causality!
mmmmm delicious

Or this one?

I went back to the commissary, risking my precious freedom to snap amusing pictures for you ungrateful cowards. (At one point, I actually made a joke about ending up in Gitmo for snapping pictures on a military base, and a nearby uniformed woman gave me a look best described as “dire”.) Anyway, the big sad news was that the Keebler-elves-in-Marine-Corps-uniforms display was gone, but I did get these, for your ever so brief enjoyment.

Everyone love spaghetti, even crazy Chinamen.


When you’re preparing a bombing raid against a wedding party full of savages, the last thing you need is a head full of mucous. Banish that killing-edge-killing cold with a nice frosty bottle of the Tussin, sailor!

You know, when you’ve just come home from being constantly shot by a bunch of crazy Muslims whose country you invaded and who are trying to blow your legs off, why not celebrate by overpaying for the same shitty food you had to eat in between fits of terror in the desert? Now available in a vegetarian option!

Of course, it’s illegal to sell these things, but what’s a little profiteering between friends?

Lileks Watch, Day Eternity

From the last two days of the Bleat, two excerpts that explain Lileks' character pretty well.

#1 (the Short Form, presented without comment): “I stopped at a Zippo kiosk to reaffirm that they had a lousy selection.”

#2 (the Long Form, presented with comments): “I was going to ignore the Keith Ellison/swearing on the Qu’ran [sic] issue, because I think Dennis Prager is wrong.”

Also because he was lying, and congressmen never swear on the Bible. But that’s not important right now.

“Note to potential emailers on the subject: I’ve heard the issue debated at great length, and am unlikely to be swayed by a reiteration of the points.”

I can’t hear you LA LA LA LA.

“But I did want to note how our papers [sic] editorial page characterized the matter: Prager was appealing to ‘wingnuts’, according to the editorial’s headline.”

I am outraged that an editorial took an editorial position.

“A little jarring in a supposedly sober paper; it’s like seeing ‘libtards’ on the Wall Stret [sic] Journal editorial page.”

I did not read the WSJ’s editorial page at all during the 1990s, when they repeatedly called Bill Clinton a serial rapist and murderer, or in the early 2000s, when Paul Craig Roberts used it several times as a platform to advance his theory that taxation of the rich is worse than slavery.

“In any case, Prager is generally calm and reasonable; he’s not given to blasts of intemperate ranting.”

Like, say, when he said how his son having a black friend was a miracle of God. Or when he wrote a 24-part series about how Christian and Jews are inherently better and morally superior to people of other religions, or of no religion. Or how he said that the chaos in Iraq was totally unforeseeable and we have never ever seen its like before. Or when he said that Christians have no history of forcing their beliefs on others. Or when he said that suicide bombing is the fault of western liberals. Or when he wrote that liberals attacking Bill Bennett for his gambling was like the blood-libel of anti-Semites that Jews eat Christian babies. Or how he thinks that the Q’uran is like Mein Kampf. Or when he wrote that failing to support the war in Iraq is like condoning lynching of black people. Or how he thinks women are for the most part incapable of rational thought. Or how he thinks there aren’t really poor people in America because our so-called poor people own microwave ovens. Or how he thinks Muslims are worse than communists and Nazis put together. Or how he thinks our universities are just big training camps to turn our daughters into lesbians. Or how…you know what? Just go see for yourself.

Yeah, calm, reasonable, and not given to blasts of intemperate reasoning, that’s our Dennis. He’s just quietly, rationally and politely totally fucking batshit crazy.