I do not do that thing where you post the first line of your journal from each month of the year. It doesn’t really tell me much. I also do not do that thing where you pick out your best entries from each month, because I am a bad judge of my best writing, if such a thing even exists. However, I do this: the annual recap of my most-commented-upon posts of each year. It’s not so much a recap of my greatest hits as it is a startling look into your terrifying collective id. Let’s watch!
JANUARY: I posted a
poll which generated controversy over multiple subjects: the worst president ever, the use of illegal narcotics, and the wisdom of playing the lottery. (
Runner-Up: I got some
hate mail, and people love hate mail!)
FEBRUARY: The actual most popular post from this month was (a) friends-only and (b) makes me cry now. So instead, we’ll go with
this one, where people talk about tee vee shows. (
Runner-Up: Town Hall readers sound off about
that horrible crazy rap music.)
MARCH: I asked you to
confirm or deny various broad stereotypes about popular music, and BOY DID YOU! (
Runner-Up: The last
poll I posted before leaving Chicago.)
APRIL: Everybody loves a good
purity ball. (
Runner-Up: I solicited
advice on a raw food diet I was going to go on for a freelance assignment. Unfortunately, the piece got killed. Even more unfortunately, I didn’t.)
MAY: Political outrage +
American Idol =
many comments. (
Runner-Up: The geniuses at
National Review pick
the top 50 conservative rock songs of all time, and we laugh at them.)
JUNE: John Derbyshire has some, uh,
interesting things to say about rape. (
Runner-Up: A poll gets people
up in arms about ice cream, sausage and apostles.)
JULY:
Conservative 'funnies' are not very. Funny. (
Runner-Up: Boy, you people sure do like polls!
This one inspired much comment, but little of it to do with the fact that a majority of you would like to be able to move pornography with your minds.)
AUGUST: The infamous
'99 Problems' post that won me acclaim far and wide and made my ex-girlfriend really mad. (
Runner-Up: It was my
birthday.)
SEPTEMBER: You know what? Let’s just forget about this month.
OCTOBER: People get
really, really agitated about National Novel Writing Month. (
Runner-Up: One of those things where we
turn song titles into recipes. I FUCKING LOVE THESE THINGS.)
NOVEMBER: This was the month where I posted a poll about women’s underwear that got like ten thousand responses, but it was friends-only. So we’re gonna go with
this poll about guns and funk. (
Runner-Up: We discuss
songs that have been ruined by overuse in advertisements.)
DECEMBER:
Pictures of me, therapy. The two are connected, because after seeing pictures of me, you NEED therapy HAW HAW HAW! (
Runner-Up: I got the best pals in the world.
Aaaaaaaw.)