February 9th, 2007

banana

"WHY DIDN'T THE FUNNY MAN SAY DOODIE?"

1. Infantilization of America continues apace. Actually, you know what? It's not infantilization. I've spent time around a toddler whose bloodstream did not seize up at the mention of the word "vagina". It's the continued Christianization of America, is what it is.

2. From the marquee of the church near my house:

QUESTIONS PEOPLE ASK: THE BIBLE AND DINOSAURS
This Sunday


3. One of the pieces we're doing for the textbook is about urban violence, and it features a guy telling young readers not to get mad if they can't buy the latest designer clothes by Sean John or G-Unit or whatever. The photograph that accompanies this exhortation features the speaker wearing an Enyce sweater.

4. But not the Enyce sweater I'm wearing right now! Along with my new kicks and a very fashionable Seventh tee. I'd be downright stylin' if I weren't an old fat gross-looking monster with rats chewing at my cuffs. My hair, by the way, is so out of control that I feel like punching myself. Luckily the place where I get my hair cut is right near a liquor store, so: two birds, one stone.

5. My friends list yesterday broke down to about 40% "OMG ANNA NICOLE SMITH DIED" and about 60% "OMG STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW ANNA NICOLE SMITH DIED". Good work, gang!

6. Whatevzo to Al Gore not running for president, but if photoshopular was still up and running, I'd say this picture gets on its knees and begs to be fucked with.

7. I feel like writing a Wikipedia entry, something I've never done before. But I only want to write one for something that no one's done yet, and such things are in short supply. You're not supposed to write them about people you know, so that's out. Any suggestions? The more obscurerer the betterererer.