February 20th, 2007

naked and ashamed


No Ludic Log updates for the weekend; it's on hiatus for the time being while I polish off a couple of dangling freelance assignments. I do hate to disappoint the three of you who read it, but pay takes precedence over play these days. There'll be new stuff up before too long, though, and in the meantime there's tons o' fun over at Clown Central Station.

Speaking of clowns

Everyone should go take a gander at this. It's the transcript of a recent Hugh Hewitt radio show, where the right-wing shill does something he doesn't do very often: brings on a guest who actually knows what the fuck he's talking about.

The guest in question is retired Army general William Odom, whose conservative credentials are impeccable: he's a Yale professor and contemporary of Bush's father, a decorated veteran, a former director of the NSA (under Ronald Reagan, no less), a member of the Military Intelligence Hall of Fame, and a senior fellow at the conservative Hudson Institute. He's also a fierce advocate of immediately withdrawing our troops from Iraq, and has convincingly argued recently that no conseqence of our leaving is going to be worse than the consequences of our staying.

Hooty Hoo disagrees with this, of course, but was, er, a tad underequipped to engage the general in conversation about issues about which he is woefully uninformed. The rigged nature of punditry and the gamed aspect of talk shows rarely give us the opportunity to see what happens when ideology runs head-first into a wall of actual expertise, but it happens here, and Hewitt emerges all accordioned out like when Wile E. Coyote has a boulder dropped on his head.

I haven't actually heard the show, only read the highlights (those who did hear it report it came off as even more of a drubbing than it appears), but those are plenty. Some high points:

- Hewitt trying to show up Gen. Odom by asking him about the details of obscure Islamist theology, while the general plows right on ahead talking about geopolitics and refusing to be sidelined by the belief that the foreign policy of the most powerful nation on Earth should be dictated by the deranged religious rhetoric of a handful of kooks

- Hewitt saying that we can't pull out of Iraq because we don't want another Cambodia, then immediately dropping the point when Odom notes that what happened in Cambodia was largely our fault and would have happened whether we'd pulled out of Vietnam or not

- Odom telling Hewitt that he'd flunk him out of a sophomore international studies class

- Hewitt inexplicably citing Indonesia as an example of a liberal constitutional democracy

- Odom openly scoffing at Hewitt's attempt to compare today's situation in Iran with the position of Nazi Germany in the 1930s, and responding to Hewitt's constant attempts to terrify him out of a realistic assessment of the regional outlook with scare quotes from right-wing authors and lunatic Islamists by saying "Look, I'm running out of time here"

- This quote: "A military commander that doesn’t know when to retire from one area so he can approach the conflict from another area is not a smart commander. And it seems to me you’re advocating a kind of policy where you have a President who jumps off the Empire State Building, and he goes by the 50th floor, and he says I’m on course. Well, I want a president who knows how to change course."

- This exchange, which is especially funny because despite Hewitt's ingratiating language he clearly hates General Odom by this point:

HH: Now General, you are a distinguished and long-serving member of the American military, in the Military Hall of Fame, you’re a Lt. General. I actually served alongside of you in the Reagan administration when you were running NSA. So I mean no disrespect by this next question.

WO: Yeah, you’re obviously going to call me a son of a bitch or something.

HH: No, I’m not. No, I’m not, General. I would never do that, because I esteem your service quite a lot, and I know your reputation as an intelligence professional, because I was the special assistant to Bill Smith running the FISA stuff, when you were over at NSA. So I know your credentials, and I esteem you.

Tuesday poll

Because Monday was another in an endless string of holidays for which I do not get paid.

Poll #931365 Happy Eastern Orthodox Beginning of Lent, everyone!

Name a Duran Duran song that does not suck.

"Girls on Film"
other (see Comments)
there are many Duran Duran songs that do not suck
there are no Duran Duran songs that do not suck
I am not familiar with the songs of Duran Duran

What do you think would be the coolest thing about being President?

making the Secret Service all wiggy
state dinners
non-stop intern pussy
seeing what the Wall Street Journal editorial pages had to say about me every day
the possibility of one day getting my face on some money
picking out a bunch of crazy shit for my Presidential Library
the CIA maps service (which was Jimmy Carter's favorite thing about the presidency)
getting to enact the Monroe Doctrine
getting to enact the Ledeen Doctrine
getting to enact the Johnson Doctrine, if you know what I mean
throwing out the first pitch of the World Series
vetoing something just because I can
free playing cards from Air Force One
lording it over the Vice-President
other (see Comments)

In the last week, I have:

gotten drunk
gotten high
gotten laid
been arrested
been beaten up
been stomped by an outlaw biker
participated in an outlaw biker stomping
killed a man in Reno just to watch him die
seen a train a-comin', comin' 'round the bend
participated in an asinine internet poll

Can the Pierce/Thurman ticket count on your vote in the 2008 presidential election?

you can count on my vote AND a campaign contribution
I am not eligible to vote in the 2008 US presidential election

Compose the most abstruse, ridiculous "_____ is like _____ meets _____ in _____" analogy you can think of.