March 20th, 2007



So apparently this weekend, while I was doing blow and making out with supermodels*, a conclave of dingbats decided to hold a big rally in Washington, DC in order to forestall the imaginary threat of war memorial desecration. Of course, a few windbag hotshots joined the hunt, with the prerequisite tough talk, and when it was all over, the turnout for this "silent majority" of pro-war patriots was claimed d at 30,000 souls.

Leaving aside the fact that 30,000 people wouldn't even be a majority in my old Albany Park neighborhood, let alone for the entire nation, certain skeptics (their patriotism poisoned by a terror-loving leftist ideology) found the number a bit hard to believe given the size of the crowds they spotted at the Gathering of Eagles and affiliated marches. (A photo taken by the ever-reliable James Lileks of the Twin Cities eagles would seem to support this skepticism.) Responding with great ferocity to charges that they juked the stats, these great American patriots cited a National Park Service estimate to support their 30k turnout number.

Whoops! It turns out that the Park Service no longer provides crowd estimates, and has not done so for more than a decade. Still, they did a good job! No war protestors or liberal scumbags desecrated or vandalized the memorial, just as no one has done in the 25 years since the Vietnam War Memorial was constructed, without the aid of the Gathering of Eagles! Congratulations, folks -- another triumph of solving a nonexistent problem and then claiming victory, just like you did in the war on Christmas! You're the real heroes!

*: Claims not verified