April 3rd, 2007

on a steel horse I ride

Tasteful San Antonio, #6

On my commute to work, I pass a small strip mall. Actually, I pass about three hundred small strip malls, but this one features a cell phone store on on end, a barber on the other end, and right in the middle, a storefront: windows covered over with opaque film, and no name on the front door. Written across the window, and on the marquee, there is this --

RELAXATION THERAPY, $10.00

We're all thinking the same thing, right?

And that's...tasteful San Antonio.
it's magic

No matter how far I roam, the IMDB Message Boards are always there

BLADES OF GLORY:

Anybody else notice all of the Asian women? Throughout the movie, I couldn't help but notice that pretty much every female significant extra (somebody sitting next to a major role, working in a ski shop, etc...) was Asian... Did anybody else notice this? (If you don't believe me, watch it again and look!)I thought it was kind of bizarre. Just a strange over-representation.

p.s. Even though it would be an absurd claim, to those who might make it, I'm not a racist blah blah blah.


300:

Just saw it - Persians were evil! This movie was great. A very nice representation of good vs. evil. The Persians were and still are a horrible and sick filthpile of human waste and I'm glad a movie came right out to emphasize this. At least they had the guts. Iran dislikes history because it shows how corrupt and evil they all were. This may be based off a comic, but the Persians -actually- tried to invade Greece. They had already conquered 2/3rds of the world.. which wasn't enough for their appetite of destruction. Whether a movie came out to portray this in recent media or not, THIS IS YOUR HISTORY PERSIANS, THIS IS WHAT YOU'VE DONE. You want to be proud of your history? Hmph, I never knew there was pride among savages.

WILD HOGS:

Why do they always say Americans are stupid? I mean...not too many genius mathematicians in Botswana either.

ALSO WILD HOGS:

the black guy looks out of place. i don't think in real life, white biker barbarians would accept a black guy. I'm just being real, what you think?

ARE WE DONE YET?:

This movie is racist. It is inapropriate to teach our kids that racism is okay. The movie portrays Ice Cube as a man who has to try and break through tough odds and succeed. Do I even need to ask if succeeds. Well he probably will but then it inaccurately shows how hard it was for blacks to get a break. If Ice Cube gets shot then this movie should be commended for portraying realism in a kids movie.

THE REAPING:

Atheism makes no sense. Why would have a belief system to something that you say in the first instance doesn't exist? That's very silly. That's like me saying I'm antisantaclausism or Im a antitoothfairiest. An athiest whole belief system is based on something they say doesn't exist. I think just by pure implication, atheism actually points to the existence of God. Back in the day when someone believed that the earth was flat, that belief was based on something that did exist, namely the earth. When atheist say they don't believe in God or they don't have any god beliefs, they are supporting the existence of God. An atheist by definition is defined by God. You couldn't have an athiest if God doesn't exist.

THE HOAX:

Movie is Innacurate I read an interview with the real Vlifford Irving who was hired as a technical advisor but wanted his name to be take off the project because he said it was highly innacurate he told that beside the hoax and the fact he went to jail everything else was a lie. I really hate when they state the movie is based on a true story and especially that the guy that the movie is based on says it has little to do with the accual story.

PATHFINDER:

Rascist!!! As a Norwegian-American I am offended by how Vikings are portrayed in this film. How awful. I am boycotting every film from this company as retaliation and blaming Iran for producing this rubbish of slanderous material of my forefathers.

No matter what movie you pick, no matter what thread on what message board, it will be no less than ten posts before you read the dumbest thing you have ever read in your life. God bless you, IMDB.
i brung you purty flowers

Baseball Names 2007

As you may know, Major League Baseball's opening day was this weekend, and as I do every year, I have selected and categorized my favorite baseball names. Enjoy.

MOST LIKELY TO SPEND THE OFF-SEASON WORKING FOR A TOXIC WASTE DISPOSAL COMPANY IN NORTH JERSEY
Rocco Baldelli, Tony Giarratano, Ronny Paulino

WINNERS, ALL-BIZARRE-CHRISTIAN-NAME LATINO SUPERSTARS TEAM
Yuniesky Betancourt, Yhency Brazobán, Melky Cabrera, Maicer Izturis, Dioner Navarro, Elizardo Ramirez, Wandy Rodriguez, Duaner Sánchez, Yorvit Torrealba

MOST LIKELY TO POUND THE CRAP OUT OF YOU IN THE HALLWAY AFTER HOMEROOM
Chris Bootcheck, Vinnie Chulk, Dan Uggla

MOST LIKELY TO STAR IN ARTSY FRENCH COMIC STRIP
Ambirix Burgos

MOST LIKELY TO SPEND THE OFF-SEASON APPEARING IN GAY PORN FILMS
Kiko Calero, Jimmy Gobble, Grady Sizemore, Nick Swisher, J.J. Putz


MOST LIKELY TO FORM A NÜ-METAL BAND
Zack Grienke, Kameron Loe, Laynce Nix, Taylor Tankersley

MOST RELAXED
Robby Hammock

MOST LIKELY TO WEAR SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT
Corey Hart

LAST NAME SOUNDS BETTER COMING OUT OF THE MOUTH OF JERRY LEWIS OR PROFESSOR FRINK
Ron Mahay

NAMES MOST OFTEN MISTAKEN FOR TYPOS
Cla Meredith, Sendy Rleal

SPENDING HOLIDAYS WITH DADDY AND MUMSO AT THE VINEYARD
Lastings Milledge, Chase Utley, Tyler Yates

MOST EASY-TO-GUESS JUNIOR HIGH NICKNAME
Dustin Nippert

MOST INCONGRUOUS FIRST NAME/LAST NAME COMBINATION (NON-LATINO DIVISION)
LeVale Speigner

MOST FREQUENTLY TOLD “NO, I SAID I NEED YOUR NAME, NOT YOUR ADDRESS”
Huston Street

OVERALL WINNER, BEST NAME
Terrmel Sledge