April 9th, 2007

on a steel horse I ride

More...TASTEFUL SAN ANTONIO

1. Rent in this town is cheap. Super cheap. Super stupid cheap. Why so cheap? Because in order to get it, you have to live in San Antonio. I feel a certain degree of guilt over the cheap rent, but not to the point that I'm going to pay more of it than I have to.

2. Here are the food delivery options in San Antonio: Tong's Thai, national chain pizza, or nothing. I am assured, both from looking in a mirror and the claims of my co-workers, that San Antonio is the fattest metropolitan area in the United States; however, I can't figure out how this is the case, when you have to go out to get your food. It could be so much fatter if only a few local restaurants would figure out how to put food in a car! My laziness must be enabled, dammit.

3. In the cities I have lived previous to this, "cockroach" refers to a small brown insect, about the size of half a paper match, which can easily be extirpated with a rolled-up newspaper. Distasteful, yes, especially when found in your pantry or silverware drawer, but manageable. Apparently, however, in South Texas, "cockroach" refers to a creature spawned by atomic radiation, black as the pits of Hell and about the size of a Bible, that can only be killed by backing over it with a large car. This makes me very unhappy.
banana

Dat's showbiz!

Movies, movies, movies.

Poll #963029 Movie Monday

In "The Godfather Part II", following an attempt on Michael Corleone's life, his would-be assassins are found murdered in a drainage culvert. His lieutenant, Al Neri, says 'It looks like they were hired out of New York'. How can he possibly know this?

the assassins are wearing "I HEART NY" buttons
3(5.4%)
the assassins are wearing "GIULIANI TIME" t-shirts
3(5.4%)
the assassins have Mets tickets in their pockets
4(7.1%)
remnants of Nathan's hot dogs are found next to the bullet wounds in their guts
5(8.9%)
with their dying breaths, the assassins mutter "Come on already! What is this? Get outta here"
10(17.9%)
the assassins are unable to complete their mission becase "only in New York!" do mob hits take place
4(7.1%)
because, despite being one of the greatest movies of all time, "The Godfather Part II" does not actually make much sense in parts
27(48.2%)

What is your favorite Quentin Tarantino movie?

"Reservoir Dogs"
12(20.7%)
"Pulp Fiction"
15(25.9%)
"Jackie Brown"
10(17.2%)
"Kill Bill Volume 1"
4(6.9%)
"Kill Bill Volume 2"
0(0.0%)
"Kill Bill", combined
5(8.6%)
his 1/4th of "Four Rooms"
0(0.0%)
his 1/10th of "Sin City"
0(0.0%)
his 1/2 of "Grindhouse"
1(1.7%)
Christ, doesn't the guy make any whole movies anymore?
3(5.2%)
I fucking hate Quentin Tarantino's movies
8(13.8%)

Check the box of each Japanese director you would consider 'great'.

Kinji Fukasaku ("Battle Royale", "House on Fire")
0(0.0%)
Ishiro Honda ("Destroy All Monsters", "Godzilla")
0(0.0%)
Kon Ichikawa ("Fires on the Plain", "The Burmese Harp")
0(0.0%)
Juzo Itami ("Tampopo", "A Taxing Woman")
0(0.0%)
Takeshi Kitano ("Fireworks", "Kikujiro")
0(0.0%)
Hirokazu Koreeda ("After Life", "Nobody Knows")
0(0.0%)
Akira Kurosawa ("Rashomon", "The Seven Samurai")
7(12.3%)
Takashi Miike ("Audition", "The Bird People in China")
0(0.0%)
Kenji Misumi ("Zatoichi: The Life and Opinion of Masseur Ichi"; "Lightning Swords of Death")
0(0.0%)
Hayao Miyazaki ("Spirited Away", "Princess Mononoke")
2(3.5%)
Nagisha Oshima ("Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence", "In the Realm of the Senses")
0(0.0%)
Yasujiro Ozu ("Tokyo Story", "Floating Weeds")
0(0.0%)
Seijun Suzuki ("Pistol Opera", "Youth of the Beast")
0(0.0%)
those little fuckers make movies? what's next, a flying monkey?
4(7.0%)
you forgot...(see comments)
0(0.0%)

Do you ever listen to audio commentary on DVDs?

Yes
17(28.8%)
Yes, but only when professionally obligated to do so
1(1.7%)
Sometimes
28(47.5%)
No
9(15.3%)
NEEEEEEERD
4(6.8%)

Name three film directors about whom you and the majority of your peers vehemently disagree.

what have i done?

And speaking of movies...

...yesh, I really have compiled a list of my 100 favorite movies. But I won't post it, because (a) no one will read it, (b) no one cares and (c) it will probably cause my ex and others to make fun of me. However, I have done a statistical analysis of it.

NUMBER OF FILMS IN WHICH NO ONE GETS KILLED: 15

NUMBER OF FILMS IN WHICH NO ONE DIES: 11

NUMBER OF FILMS WHICH ARE NOT AVAILABLE ON DVD: 6

NUMBER OF FILMS IN WHICH SOMEONE WALKS AROUND CARRYING A RADIO: 5

NUMBER OF FILMS FEATURING A MONKEY ATTACK: 4

NUMBER OF FILMS STARRING PROFESSIONAL WRESTLERS: 3

NUMBER OF FILMS FEATURING WHIT BISSELL: 2

NUMBER OF FILMS IN WHICH A GAY ASSASSIN TELLS ANOTHER GAY ASSASSIN THAT HE CAN'T EAT ANY MORE OF HIS SALAMI: 1