April 26th, 2007

party time

Bande à partment

So, I got a new apartment! Here are some things about my new apartment.

1. It is in a house. It is the back half of a house, that is. A 'duplex', if you will. There is a yard and two doors and parking. The house is 50 years old. I have named it "The Cave".

2. The house is located in what is, as far as I can tell, the only really nice neighborhood in San Antonio. On one side of my neighborhood (Mahncke Park) is a country club, and on the other, UIW, the big Catholic University. The house is bordered by a car wash and a spa. Bill Miller's barbeque is also nearby, but it is not very good.

3. Within walking distance: two bookstores, a comic book shop, a Central Market (yuppie health/gourmet supermarket owned by HE-Butt, very similar to Whole Foods), some good restaurants including a sushi joint, and a copy shop. Not within walking distance: a good liquor store.

4. The rent is ridiculously cheap for the area.

5. It is a one-bedroom apartment of about 675 square feet of space. There are unattractive carpets, air conditioners, and a built-in clothes hamper. Pets are not allowed. Looks like it's toilet time for my sea monkeys.

6. There is a large bar-top counter, upon which I will make martinis. There is a large living room, in which I will drink them.

7. It is closer to my work. I haven't decided if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

8. Utilities are communal and are added to the rent. Internet access, however, must be acheived. Can this be done without getting a phone or cable? I don't know! I DO NOT HAVE THAT KNOWLEDGE!

9. A hill looms nearby.

10. He bites into dried meat and finds yellow bronze. It is dangerous to continue. No harm.

Also, "American Idol", you are bullshit for not dumping someone

So, the other day, I posted something on Clown Central Station about the phony "I could totally kill a guy in a hundred ways" tough-guy talk posted in response to the VA Tech massacre by the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler. I wasn't all that proud of my post -- it wasn't one of my best. But now I love it more than pizza sex lotteries, because it not only inspired a bunch of his fans to come yell at me, but also caused him to write a post denouncing me!

I don't know why some people don't like getting hate mail. This stuff is completely awesome. My favorites:

- The punters attacking me for being pro-gun-control, when I am not, in fact, pro-gun-control, nor was my post about the need for gun control.

- The way that they responded to my criticism of weak-ass, fake tough-guy posing with...more weak-ass, fake tough-guy posing.

- The incredible speed with which they rushed to call me a faggot.

- The way they criticized me for impugning the heroic courage of the A-IR, who defended Denmark against the communist hordes during the Cold War and thus is totally justified in mouthing off like he was Rambo.

- Just everything about them, basically. I love them so much. They are my new best friends.

Hot cops! They're painting the town!

You know, I realize that San Antonio gets quite hot in the summertime. And I likewise realize that in a downtown area, bikes are a practical and sensible means for law enforcement agents to patrol an area.

But I just don't think I'm ever going to fully respect a cop in shorts.