May 8th, 2007

stella stella can't you hear me yella

Whorin'

I'm incredibly busy at work, I have a bunch of freelancing to work on, and I have nothing interesting to say. Hence the recent spate of boring posts. But: I'm never too busy to whore!

Are you reading the Screengrab? No? Then you're missing out on my assessment of Philip K. Dick's relationship with the movie biz, summer film festival rundown, list of famous posthumous performances, piece on the state of Saudi cinema, look at the attempt to pin the VA Tech massacre on Hollywood, five favorite wrestling pictures, and candidates for nude scenes we really could have done without, among other things! Go, and do!

Are you reading Sadly, No!? No? Then you're not reading my response to a letter from Dennis Prager, look at the right's sexiest presidential candidate, assessment of the state of irony among conservative columnists, introduction to Andrew Klavan, and passionate love affair with atheist-hating English professor Mary Grabar, among other things! Hie thee hence!

Are you reading Clown Central Station? No? Then you're depriving yourself of my views on James Lileks getting shitcanned, transcript of the latest drunken ramblings from Crazy Pam Oshry, greatest hits of the blowhardosphere, ongoing feud with a right-wing Danish Cold Warrior, and assessment of how you can tell whether or not someone is ideologically unsuitable by his or her favorite Beatle, among other things! Get going!

Are you reading the Boy Bedlam Review? No? Then you don't know about how the right's weekend warriors responded to a non-existent terror threat, and you're missing out an gorgeous, carefully edited literary magazine, as well! Point and click, buster!

Are you reading UR Magazine? No? Then you're unaware of my recent interviews with Caleb Followill from Kings of Leon and Rhymesayers superproducer Ant, my piece on what not to do with your summer vacation, and my reviews of lots of new records! You also don't know that the magazine is now available in a browsable PDF version, so readers outside the midwest can now enjoy it! What are you waiting for?

Are you listening to Under Surveillance on WLUW? No? Then you're not hearing me vapor on and on about the geeky intersection between culture and politics with host Kevin Fullam, as in our recent two-part conversation about comics and movies! Listen up!

Are you reading a number of grocery, food industry and produce trade magazines? Are you reading real estate brochures, retail investment pamphlets, the back copy of small-market DVD releases, the introductions to books that haven't been published yet, on-line ad copy for clothing and software manufacturers I can't name, and high school history tests in the states of Texas, Florida and California? Then you're missing out on a bunch of high-paying but incredibly boring stuff that I wrote! Keep your eyes peeled!

Are you reading the City Desk or Lawyerbear? No? Then you're cheating yourself out of two fine and funny sites, as well as missing out on some top-shelf short humor of the sort that I used to write a lot before I got busy doing all this other crap! Check it out!

Are you reading the Ludic Log? No? Well, that's probably for the best, since I only update it about every two weeks or so anymore. But shit, it used to be funny, and maybe, God willing, it will be again. And in the meantime, there's like a thousand pages of stuff there you probably haven't read from the days when I used to be funny, a painfully out-of-date list of links to some other material I've written, and plenty of stuff to keep you nerds satisfied. Go, and do, with the thing! DOOM COMMANDS IT!