May 16th, 2007

stella stella can't you hear me yella

Whorin'

Hey, Chicago: I'm in your area Aug. 3-8. Save some time to get drunk with me, a well-meaning man who misses you.

Meanwhile, there's plenty of new posts by me up at the Screengrab, Clown Central Station, and Sadly, No! -- I especially recommend this, a glimpse at the shadowy workings of the mind of former presidential flunky/neoconservative dead-ender Max "Das" Boot. Thanks for sometimes reading things I write.
hello?

Wake up, little snoozy

Mr. President?

Mr. President, it's time to go. You have that big balloon speech to give.

No, this is a different big balloon speech.

I know, it seems that way sometimes, but the balloon lobby is very influential.

I'm positive.

No, it's definitely today.

Last Wednesday was a speech you gave on a big balloon. And Monday was a speech you gave to the League of Women Voters, using big balloons as a metaphor. This is a speech you're giving to big balloon manufacturers.

Really, sir. I wouldn't kid you abut that.

The usual. Bright future, proud of the progress you've made, say no to defeatists in Iraq, taking the country in the right direction, don't be misled by negative influences in the Congress. Try and work in something about balloons.

Yeah, after a while, the word starts to lose all meaning. Try and keep a straight face, though.

After this? Falwell funeral, meet with some of the people trying to get your job next year, and then you're free until Tuesday.

Uh...looks like a chartiy fundraiser for the NEBRI.

National Endowment for Balloon-Related Injuries. Big influence among the base, sir.

No, I don't know. It did sort of seem like it all happened at once. But it's not just you, if it makes you feel any better. Mr. so-called "maverick" McCain, he's got the balloon people riding his ass 24/7.

Yeah, it is funny. Anyway, it's time to get dressed. You need anything before we get going, sir?

You promised your wife you wouldn't, sir.