A schediastic hootenanny

1. Why am I so tired all the time?

2. Is today new comic day, or is it tomorrow, because of the holiday?

3. How come there aren't more contributions to Draining the Glass? I can't drink all the liquor in the world by myself, people. I've tried.

4. Why must life be so hard? No, wait, not hard -- boring? No, hold on -- tasty?

5. Why isn't there a government service that does your laundry for you? Also it should provide paper towels.

6. I only want a lover like any other. What do I get? I only want a friend who'll stay 'til the end. What do I get?

7. Was it a good idea to start a new crappy novel?

8. Did you know that we live in a country that provides tax exemptions for snake handlers?

9. Why is anyone still listening to right-wing conservatives?

10. Does there have to be ten of everything?

I could not be more pleased with how this is going. Sure, some of my favorites have been voted out, but all in all, you can literally feel the science of hilarity moving forward. You feel it in your right kidney, which is where the sense of humor is located.

We’re down to the sweet sixteen here, and it's time to make some really hard decisions about funny hats. But I have heard you; I have seen you; I know you are up to the challenge. The funny-hat-wearing yucksters yet unborn thank you.

Once again, though I don't imagine you need them at this point, here's the photographic guide to these hats, ( Collapse ).



ROUND 3 IS GO! We've got some classic matchups in the making here -- fruit hat/ushanka could be a barn-burner, the fur-hat showdown in the fourth bracket is sure to be exciting, and the final bracket features an amazing confrontation between the archetypical "crazy" hat and the archetypical "silly" hat! May the funniest hat win!