June 4th, 2007

on a steel horse I ride

Funny Hat Poll: Semifinals

And now, here we are. This was meant to go up Friday, thank you very much LiveJournal, but here it is now: the Final Four. It may not make a lot of people happy -- there were more votes cast in this round than in any other, and the races were extraordinarily close, with two brackets being decided by a single vote -- but you go with the science you have, not the science you wish you had. Just remember, each of you, that you are part of a great experiment by which mankind will progress immeasurably. Remember, too, that, as with all great scientific discoveries, we learn as much about ourselves and our fellow man as we do the subject at hand. So vote and vote well.

The visual primer, should you need it:

Beefeater's hat.
Coonskin cap.
Energy dome (ziggurat hat, or Devo hat).
Mitre (Pope's hat).

GO!

Poll #996800 Hat Matter

What's funnier?

energy dome
24(48.0%)
coonskin cap
26(52.0%)

What's funnier?

mitre
34(68.0%)
Beefeater's hat
16(32.0%)
smirkovitch

OAT MY GOT IST ANUBBER POLE

You!

Yes, you!

Stand still, laddie!

Because it's time for you to HELP ME NAME A CHARACTER IN MY NEW FICTION PROJECT*! Lord have mercy! Spare our timid souls! What an exciting opportunity to take part in something that will likely never be published, and from which you will not see a single penny if it is! Yes, if you come up with a name I really like for the female lead of this story, you will get the vast honor of being cited in the Acknowledgements -- and fuck-all else! Maybe if I am feeling very generous, I will buy you a drink and give you a dollar with which to tip the barman. How often does an opportunity like this fall steaming upon your unsuspecting lap? NOT VERY!

What you need to know about this character:

1. She is female, heterosexual, Anglo-Saxon, Catholic, and Caucasian.
2. Although the story takes place in the present day, she speaks in a curious amalgam of antiquated slang.
3. She is in her late 20s.
4. She is Great British**, although in the early goings of the story, her exact place of origin is indeterminate: she could be Irish, Scottish, Welsh, English, Cornish, or even Canadian. Her accent, like her slang, veers wildly around the empire upon which the sun seldom sets.
5. She is quite possibly insane.

So, there you go. Now:

Poll #996814 DO MY WORK FOR ME!

What should be the name of the character described above?



*: Please suggest a first and a last name, thxvmuch.

**: Incidentally, to those of you on my Friends list who are from the UK -- if, in conversation with foreigners, you are asked your nationality, what do you say? Do you say "I am British" or "I am from the UK" or "I am English/Scottish/Welsh/etc."? What's the standard, here?
zzzzzzz

All you need to know about the weekend

1. I did not dream about cooking a delicious meal of barbecued beef and rice with smoked baked beans, but I did it.

2. I dreamed about making out with a gorgeous Levantine woman, but I did not actually do it.

3. Writing a very long, dry article for a film industry trade magazine is something I both dreamed about and actually did.

So, to recap: eating, writing, no making out. Should you ever wonder what I am doing on any future weekend, please apply this template to the rest of my life.