July 6th, 2007

on a steel horse I ride

It's time for more...TASTEFUL SAN ANTONIO!

#1: There is a locally produced beer here, which is called "Alamo Ale"*. Strikingly original, I know. If you took away all the businesses in town with "Alamo" in their names you'd be left with Valero and a couple of florists. Anyway, there are ad posters all over downtown for Alamo Ale, featuring made-up quotes by famous historical figures about why you should drink it. Like, there's General Santa Ana saying "When visiting San Antonio, don't drink the water", which is just this side of being racist, but here's my favorite: it's allegedly a quote from Davy Crockett to troops at the battle of the Alamo: "We're gonna need a lot more beer." You know, because we're all going to be horribly murdered, and we wanna be nice and drunk when it happens.

#2: Parked near my office yesterday was a big SUV with a yellow ribbon magnet on the front reading "US Army Wife". So far, so good! But on the rear bumper was a sticker reading "HALF MY HEART IS IN IRAQ". Okay, that's a lovely sentiment and all, but..."half my heart is in Iraq"? I wonder if they hand out stickers at BAMC that read "HALF MY LIMBS ARE IN IRAQ"?

*: Yes, like on King of the Hill, but it's real.
no comprende


Do you have a stock answer for when someone asks you what the word is for something, or the name is for something, and you have no idea what they're talking about? Mine is "Hitler".

Also, I once wrote a skit about language loss that involved languages dying out because someone was trying to remember the word for something, and they couldn't, and when they'd try to explain it to someone else, they'd forget another word ("You know! That thing they use on horses, the thing they put on their, you know, their what-do-you-call-its."), until eventually the only words left in the tongue are "um", "uh" and "it's right on the tip of my tongue". Okay, maybe it doesn't sound that funny, but it was better in the performance, plus I would like to know who else has ever written sketch comedy about language loss theory.