July 9th, 2007

banana

This poll needs some sleep

I'm sorry this isn't better. I'm not actually feeling that well.

Poll #1017972 They Call It Poll Monday, But Tuesday's Just as Bad

A global invasion by which of the following famous monsters of filmdom would you find the most tolerable?

werewolves
2(2.9%)
vampires
5(7.4%)
Frankenstein monsters
6(8.8%)
zombies
3(4.4%)
ghosts
9(13.2%)
gill-men
14(20.6%)
invisible men
4(5.9%)
robots
6(8.8%)
aliens
3(4.4%)
Communists
16(23.5%)

Which transition would be the least tolerable?

hero to zero
14(21.2%)
winner to sinner
0(0.0%)
champ to chump
12(18.2%)
first to worst
21(31.8%)
emperor to simperer
19(28.8%)

Which of the following things have you done?

Performed live stand-up or sketch comedy
0(0.0%)
Sung in public in front of 50 or more people
0(0.0%)
Acted in a play or show in front of a paying crowd
0(0.0%)
Written for a publication with a circulation of over 1,000
2(3.0%)
Danced for a paying crowd
0(0.0%)
Stood for local or national political office
0(0.0%)
Given a speech or a reading in front of more than 100 people
1(1.5%)
Played a musical instrument in front of 50 or more people
0(0.0%)
Been a guest on a radio or television show
0(0.0%)
Had art displayed at a major gallery show or museum
0(0.0%)
Been the subject of a major news story
0(0.0%)
Been transformed into a monster or supervillain and rampaged through a city
1(1.5%)

There are not enough of these in Hollywood:

Pauly Shore movies
0(0.0%)
sensitive European art films with two women kissing
9(13.2%)
superhero anthropologists
15(22.1%)
adaptations of shitty 1980s cartoons
2(2.9%)
movies where Morgan Freeman helps a white person acheive something
8(11.8%)
Adam Sandler movies
2(2.9%)
crappy American comedy films with two women kissing
3(4.4%)
superhero Marxist literary theorists
23(33.8%)
adptations of shitty 1970s TV shows
3(4.4%)
fake breasts
3(4.4%)

Write my obituary, please. I want to have a lot to choose from.