August 2nd, 2007

ouch

When the bridge collapse, you got no place to stay

Boy, I must have driven over that bridge a couple dozen times, and I never, ever thought it would collapse.

HA HA! Just kidding! In reality, I am a huge sissy-mary who lives in perpetual fear that any feat of engineering that I can't intuitively understand -- like bridges and airplanes -- is in constant danger of undergoing a total existence failure at any moment. I can never cross a bridge without thinking it's going to fall out from under me, and I am simply grateful to my dark master, Satan, that he chose to wait until I was no longer in the Twin Cities to roll it up, like a Vaudeville comic's brocade dickie, under the trusting treads of many a Minnesotan.

So far as I've heard, no one I know ended up in the big drink (so it's okay! because it didn't effect me!), but best thoughts to everyone who's still waiting to hear, as well as everyone else who's gonna have to live through the colossal drag the cleanup and reconstruction period is going to be.

POSTSCRIPT: Reading the right-wing blogs this morning (sorry, folks, I have to -- it's my job), I was pleasantly surprised at how many people refrained from invoking the Big T: even Charles Johnson, of all people, was being the voice of reason on his blog. But there was the usual legion of no-hopers who swore up and down that the whole thing had to be the doing of illegal immigrant Islamotalitarians. It's sort of touching, in an incredibly misguided, awful, life-hating way: they want there to be terrorism SO BAD. It's their most special secret Christmas wish for Muslims to kill a bunch more Americans so they can really get their hate on.
what's up?

Chi-Town I'm in Your Area!

Okay, Chicago, I'm up in the Big Town from tomorrow night through Wednesday. I have two huge freelance projects I'm gonna need to work on while I'm there, but my nights should be totally free. I have demands:

- All of you need to come with me to Hala Kahiki. Saturday night would be an ideal time for this. I include here those of you I haven't seen in a while, those of you who will only be in town temporarily, those of you who have just moved there, and those of you I have not actually met. All must participate in an orgy of sissy tropical drink tippling.

- White Sox game Tuesday night? Maybe. Depends on time.

- Buy me HeroClix. HA HA, no, seriously. You don't have to do that. SERIOUSLY.

- CATAN, motherfuckers.

- Possibly...possibly it's time for another tattoo. But I'm not doing it alone.

- I'd like to do something outdoorsy -- a cookout, drinkin' in the park, going to the beach, something -- but this is contingent on the weather not being shitty, which weather.com tells me it will be. So we can play it as it lays.

The important thing is, even though this will be in many ways a working vacation, I want most of all to see my friends. So make that happen, won't you, friends?

Also tiki drinks.