August 21st, 2007

bringin home a baby bumblebee

A list today is what you get

THINGS I HAVE BEEN DOING THE LAST FEW DAYS

1. Not sleeping

2. Working on an elaborate essay in which I argue that there is no logical deviance between a system based on pure libertarian economics and a system based on the rule of physical force

3. Drinking

4. Kicking around the vague notion of organizing a humor reading here in SATX (less of an attempt to get back into the lit scene than an attempt to transform this burg into someplace worth living, both of which are fool's errands), and becoming frustrated at the possibility of finding five or six other funny people who live here

5. Recognizing the self-flattering hypocrisy of the word "other" in the previous item

6. Filling all three holes on my new iPod

7. Organizing a posse of aging, ill-tempered boozefighters

8. Working on a bunch of freelance gigs and enjoying income from same while secretly hoping the work dries up for just a bit so I can finally work on one of my own projects for once in my goddamn life

9. Cooking things that end in vowels

10. Giving my cube-mate helpful suggestions on how to ruin her brother's wedding
on a steel horse I ride

ATTN TX

ATTENTION, YOURS, PLEASE

Hark ye to this announcement of the formation of a an “organization”

PURPOSE AND SCOPE OF

For aging, cranky alcoholics to occasionally engage in adventuresome activities

NAME OF

The name of this venture is to be called International Playboy Rock Star Syndicate, Ltd. (thank you, Nate)

ACTIVITIES

Hiking. Watching sitcoms and doing the things the people on the sitcoms do, only with less hilarious results. Board games. Gambling. World conquest.

LIQUOR

Liquor to be consumed during all activities.

BUT I HAVE CHILDREN

I know certain dark Oriental arts that are able to render your children temporarily ineffective if you are able to rise above your outmoded western moral fashions.

BUT I AM EXPECTING CHILDREN

If anything, these arts are even more effective against unborn children, and also horses.

BUT I DON’T LIKE YOU

I will destroy you.

POLICE

Police are to be fled.. Hijinx, shenanigans, antics not approved of by.

WHAT I AM GETTING AT

I will be in Austin this weekend. I would like to hang out, have fun, drink, eat, see a movie, play board games, drive around aimlessly, hike (weather permitting), flee police, plot world conquest.

YOU ARE AVAILABLE

Do not tell me you are not.

IN CONCLUSION

The end.
it says here...

INTRIGUING FINDINGS FROM RECENT POLLS

1. A large number of people selected New York as the rock capital of the world. Many so doing are themselves from New York.

2. No one selected "place of birth" as the criterion for determining a musician's geographical affiliation, despite its status as the simplest, albeit least logical, choice.

3. An amusingly high number of you listed which gambling games you like the most, then noted that you do not gamble.

4, Only one person (take a bow, steve_hicken, for your failure to be cowed by the political correctness police) identified the correct nation as featuring the highest percentage of duelers: Ireland.

5. An astonishing 55 of you believe, against all reason, that a tucked-in shirt with no tie and an open collar is an acceptable way for an adult male to dress.

6. None of you will admit to working in retail, manufacturing or traveling sales.

7. Mung beans are the majority choice as most amusing vegetable.

8. A surprisingly large number of you would be quite amenable to the notion of a global takeover by Communists.

9. Martian Manhunter was the least commonly identified as a founding member of the Justice League.

10. Moldova is the most commonly forgotten member of the Coalition of the Willing.

11. More of you would vote for Jerry Orbach, a dead man, for President over Fred Dalton Thompson, a living one.

12. No one picked Saturday as the worst day of the week. Sometimes y'all justify my love.