August 27th, 2007

wasted AND stoned

I'm too stoned to give a full accounting

I went to Austin this weekend.

As you may know, my beloved first-generation iPod, Misty II, fatally deceased herself recently, and I got a new 80G number whose name is Ebony White. Endless fun has been had loading Ebony up with music – with double the capacity of my old iPod, I was able to import not only my old playlists (jazz, hip-hop, road music) but a bunch of other stuff (all my old-time radio shows, a big metal playlist, a classical playlist, and all of my Top Ten Albums of the Year from 1969-2006). And naturally, this means I want to take a lot of long road trips to get the most out of these. Happily, the I35 was accommodating in this regard, throwing a locked-up semi and a car fire at me to cause long, boring delays just perfect for iPod fun.

Once I arrived, arrangements were made to dine at Stubbs, home of great barbecue and easily confused waitstaff. oilyrags, scottvond and lauri8 joined me for desultory conversation, barbecued animal flesh and a discussion of the plausibility of Willie Nelson as a sinister, Noah-Cross-style biofuels tycoon. After this, I insisted on bowling, because I enjoy things that involve alcohol and fun. We went to a place in the middle of north nowhere, and a good time was had by all, especially Scott, who whipped us like he was trying to get the local Wheel of Pain franchise. After that: Flugtag! Tomatoes can’t fly, was the lesson I took away from that event.

If I took drugs, and if I had a drug-taking filter, this is where I would confess that I got hold of some shit this weekend that purt near made me lose my ever-tenuous grip on reality. Whether I just took too much, or whether there was something else in it besides weed, or whether, as Austin theorizes, I am a big pussy, that shit climbed right on top of me and didn’t get down for another 12-14 hours. There are many, many hours of Saturday night where I cannot really account for what I was saying, doing, hearing, or experiencing, and while I am assured that I didn’t murder anybody or wind up naked in a lake, I have only the word of others and my lack of a fresh police blotter in way of proof.

Thanks are due to: oilyrags for putting me up and giving me a lovely piece of art; so_crates, for a birthday present I didn’t receive for several weeks due to its arrival at an address no longer my own; and hipsterdetritus, for giving me something to look forward to next year. Next stop: Texas State Fair! In a goddamn month. Feh.


Oh, P.S.: There was a huge green alley ball we referred to as "Hulkball". It weighed about 50 pounds and the thumb hole was large enough to hold two adult male thumbs. I used it for several frames on the theory that its gargantuan size alone would be enough to cause a strike; it turned out that this theory was flawed.
banana

Monday pollin' comin' down

God bless these polls and all who sail them.

Poll #1046005 These Monday Polls Are Making Me Thirsty!

What is the sexiest occupation?

librarian
17(24.3%)
schoolteacher
8(11.4%)
nurse
3(4.3%)
nanny
0(0.0%)
pole dancer
6(8.6%)
cop
3(4.3%)
construction worker
2(2.9%)
doctor
4(5.7%)
soldier
0(0.0%)
prostitute
1(1.4%)
kneecapper
1(1.4%)
accountant
1(1.4%)
cartoonist
5(7.1%)
freelance writer
13(18.6%)
other (see Comments)
6(8.6%)

How much soda do you drink in a day?

as much as none
15(21.4%)
less than none
6(8.6%)
more than none, but short of some
17(24.3%)
a little
20(28.6%)
a lot
10(14.3%)
a fuckload
1(1.4%)
enough to fill the Albert Hall
1(1.4%)

Which of the following sequels to "Guitar Hero II" do you plan on purchasing?

"Guitar Hero III"
2(3.3%)
"Rock Band"
0(0.0%)
"Guitar Villain"
5(8.2%)
"Keytaur Hero featuring Howard Jones"
3(4.9%)
"Road Manager Hero"
1(1.6%)
"Coke-addled Record Company Middle Management Hero"
5(8.2%)
"Publishing Rights Hero"
9(14.8%)
"Guitar Tech Hero"
1(1.6%)
"Stoned Soundboard Operator Hero"
4(6.6%)
"Rototom Hero"
0(0.0%)

Song lyrics that contain lists of acronyms ("CNN, NBC, CIA, DMV!", etc.).

Completely unacceptable
8(11.6%)
Unpleasant but not unforgivable
23(33.3%)
I have no opinion
22(31.9%)
It's okay
11(15.9%)
Totally awesome
5(7.2%)

Make an absurd cultural comparison of Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman to another iconic troika. Do not use the Holy Trinity or the Three Stooges.