October 10th, 2007


But that man is COLUMNIST

So I wrote this post over at Sadly, No!. There's no need to read it unless you want to not break my heart, but the subject matter itself -- that is, this post at Gates of Vienna -- is just typical boilerplate won't-somebody-please-think-of-the-white-man sublimated racism. The thing that really sort of has become an obsession of mine is this line:

The columnist Kevin Myers in Ireland thinks that no country has ever accepted, never mind assimilated, the volumes of immigrants now present in his country.

Now, first of all, there's the phrasing. Usually, when you're quoting someone in a positive way, in a way that's supposed to bolster your argument (which, in this case, is "immigration from the darkie lands will destroy the white man forever"), you don't want to phrase it as "So-and-so THINKS such-and-such". It has an inherently skeptical feel to it. You want to go for "According to so-and-so", or "So-and-so says", or something like that -- using the "So-and-so THINKS" formulation sounds like you're describing what a crazy man told you on a street corner. "The columnist Kevin Myers in Ireland thinks that bees come out of his teeth."

But the article's author is not a native English speaker, so I'm willing to indulge him that far. What's particularly hilarious is the strength of the claim.

Now, I realize that this is largely a dogmatic crypto-racist right-winger talking to other dogmatic crypto-racist right-wingers, and that, as such, I probably shouldn't expect a high standard of evidence. This is moron-to-moron talk, and really doesn't come up to a much higher burden of proof than the goofballs who take smoke breaks together at the chicken-pulling factory and complain about how the Jews killed Kennedy. But Gates of Vienna at least pretends to take itself seriously as an intellectual organ -- presented in evidence, the fact that every one of this guy's posts are extremely highfalutin and about seventy pages long -- so here's another tip for them: when you quote someone in a way that is meant to strengthen your argument, take pains to ensure that the thing he is saying isn't completely and obviously untrue.

Over at Sadly, No!, we have this running joke that conservative columnists are so unaware that there exists such a thing as the internet, which can be used by anyone to fact-check suspicious claims, that we have begun to suspect that Google is in fact an invisible magic creature that only we, the liberal smartasses, can see. We refer to it as "The Great Gazoogle". So, for example, if someone were to say that "no country has ever accepted, never mind assimilated, the volumes of immigrants now present" in Ireland, all you would have to do is look up the demographics of the Republic of Ireland to discover that 10% of the population are non-Irish nationals (that is, immigrants). Since the total population of Ireland is 4,234,925, those of us who got through 4th grade are able to calculate that the volumes of immigrants now present in the country is slightly more than 400,000. This means that, in fact, dozens of countries have assimilated, let alone accepted, far more immigrants than that. In fact, the United States accepted more than 400,000 immigrants from Germany alone as long ago as 1850, and managed not only to survive, but to thrive.

In fact, to put an even finer point on it, the United States has accepted more immigrants from Ireland than Ireland has accepted from everywhere. To get downright bitchy about it, there were more Irish immigrants to the United States before 1960 than the total number of Irish people living in Ireland since 1960, by over a million people. There are eight times as many immigrants living in New York City alone than there are in the whole of Ireland.

i got all the money

THREE MONTHS OF JOY, #2: Shopping from A to Z!

The Ludic Kid's Skullbucket, a wholly owned subsidiary of Ludic Log Ventures, Inc. (a division of Z-Co Marketing, an agency of the American Milk Solids Council) is pleased to continue its pledge to ensure that every Wednesday for the months of October, November and December, we will feature a free interactive giveaway with you, the easily amused Skullbucket reader.

Be sure to watch this space once per week for an exciting giveaway! It may be art. It may be culture. It may be things or ideas, sight, sound and mind, shadow or substance. It may be begging you for money, drugs or poontang. It may just be a way to waste a couple of minutes you would otherwise be filling out TPS reports. There is really no way of knowing unless you participate.

For those of you who ordered custom mix CDs last week, they are all completed; if I've received your SASE, it's already on the way, and if I haven't, the sooner I get your envelope, the sooner you get your disc.

This week, I'll be offering my services as a PROFESSIONAL SHOPPING BUDDY! All you have to do is post a topic in which you are interested, and I will respond with a link to a book, movie, service or object you can purchase in order to deepen and enrich your understanding of that thing. It's like having a crazy friend who tells you to buy stuff! It's exactly like that!