November 20th, 2007


Everybody's doin' it

1. Become grand vizier of something
2. Uma Thurman
3. Get my goddamn New York Times
4. Find fault in stars, not self; prove that smug bastard Cassius wrong
5. Become world’s third-greatest rock ‘n’ roll drummer
6. Have nine simultaneous orgasms
7. Destroy mankind
8. Invent the electric car
9. Un-invent the electric eel
10. Invent time machine, travel back to 10th grade, deliver killer comeback to Todd Nelson
11. Corner market on banana pudding
12. Get a good night’s sleep
13. Get back two hours of my life I wasted watching Turk-182
14. Take more time to yell at the elderly
15. Watch nuclear holocaust from gorgeous, out-of-the-way beach in Hawaii
16. Get elected dogcatcher
17. Catch at least one dog
18. Ride a horse
19. “Ride” a horse
20. Learn how to make those ramen noodle cups you get at fancy restaurants
21. Learn to speaks more gooder Engalish
22. Live one year of my life as a woman’s basketball coach
23. Learn to dance on Norman Mailer’s grave
24. Write the Great Armenian Novel
25. Make billions-sold sign at McDonald’s go up by one
26. Complete list of 100 things to do before I die