A schediastic hootenanny

When will you stop doing things that make half my friends list shit themselves? I'm an old man and I just want a little peace and quiet.

I tell you, folks, if you aren't checking in on a regular basis with Conservapedia (a.k.a. Wikipedia for Stupid People™), you're missing out on some of the surest comedy on the internet. From their terrifying obsession with homesexuality to their astonishing illustrations of what passes for 'debate' amongst right-wingers, it's a treasure trove of goofy.

LGM brings us their latest high point in hilarity: a list of hallmarks of the liberal style. Pick your favorite! Here's mine:

33. using non sequiturs in argument, such as responding to the point above that liberals over-rely on accusations of hypocrisy by citing an example of conservatives' observing liberal hypocrisy. But their example does not help their argument. Quite the contrary, use of that example tends to prove that liberals do over-rely on accusations of hypocrisy (relativism). Think about that.

THINK ABOUT THAT. Seriously, THINK ABOUT IT.

Say, let's take a look at what's happening in the latest issue of SA210, the 'hip', 'alternative' weekly published by the hopelessly square, ultra-conservative Express-News!

- The Blue Man Group: do they wear that makeup all the time, or what?

- Who will win the big sports match, the guys with the O on their hats or the guys with the M on their hats?

- We interview the last of the three rappers who live in San Antonio!

- What kind of shoes does a guy you've never heard of like to wear?

- We have a new entertainment blog with the totally original name "Popmatters"!

- TV shows about farting are funny!

- Our biggest art museum is going to close down for six months, but that's okay, because it's pretty bad.

- Warning: bottled water may not be as healthful as its advertising claims!

- It's really annoying how much people talk about Britney Spears. Except for this article!

- The last good rap record was Doggystyle.