May 20th, 2008

hmmmmmm...

Simulacrum of agony

So, my finger is not actually broken; it is merely sprained in a way that resembles a break. Similarly, my air conditioner is not actually broken; it is merely functioning in such a way as to provide no qualities of cooling the air.

Does he die? No; life is found to be extinct.
real threats don't speak

From "Earth vs. the Strutting Venusians", 1953

SARGE: Well, boys, you ready for the big push tomorrow?

ROCCO: Aw, these creeps ain't so tough. I been in worse scrapes back in Flatbush.

BILLY: Really? Did the other hoods have heat rays and flesh-stripping razors back in Flatbush?

ROCCO: Maybe they did and maybe they didn't, creep-o.

MURPH: Yeah, what's it to ya, college boy?

SARGE: Pipe down, you mugs. Try and grab a little shuteye before reveille.

MURPH: It's gonna be a rough go, fightin' those bums in the middle of the crowded city streets.

BILLY: Yeah, Sarge, why can't we just order an evacuation?

SARGE: Can't do it, kid. Doc says it would cause a panic.

ROCCO: Aw, nertz.

MURPH: That's what he said when the vampires attacked!

BILLY: And the robots.

MURPH: And the robotic vampires…

ROCCO: The werewolf gorillas…

BILLY: The gorilla werewolves..

MURPH: Actually, those were wolfen were-gorillas.

BILLY: What's the difference?

MURPH: Well, see, one is a half-intelligent man-wolf who occasionally turns into a gorilla-man, while the other is…"

SARGE: All right! That's enough out of you jaspers! We got a job to do, and we don't want to panic the citizenry on top of it.

BILLY: I think we have the most panic-resistant citizens in the world.

MURPH: No one cares what you think, egghead.

ROCCO: Brainiac.

MURPH: Gorilla werewolf sympathizer.

SARGE: Pipe down, everyone! All our people back home are counting on us to save us from the Martians or whatever they are. Think of them when you're on the front lines facing their fire beams.

BILLY: Heat rays.

SARGE: Whatever. Do it for your loved ones.

MURPH: Say, does anybody wanna see pictures of my girl back home? We're getting married the day after my tour of duty is over!

EVERYONE: NO!