June 18th, 2008

bending the strings

Sing it!

Working on a freelance assignment this morning reminded me of a cheesy thing in music that I really love: when someone in a band exhorts the rest of the band to sing. It's very similar to when a musician is exhorted to play his instrument, which I think we discussed recently on a music forum where I hang out. It just seems so arbitrary and silly, and yet strangely charming. Some examples:

- In the Ass Ponys' "Not Since Superman Died", Chuck Cleaver, just before the final chorus, goes "Ass Ponys!"

- In "Walk on the Wild Side", before the colored girls sing, Lou Reed says "And the colored girls sing..."

- In "How Great Our Lord", James Taylor yells "Sing it!" at the heavenly chorus.

- At the beginning of "Vista", Murray Attaway tells the vocalist to "Shhhhhhhh."

- At the beginning of "Mama Said Knock You Out", L.L. says "Come on!" to the backup singers.

- In "I'm Straight", Jonathan Richman says "Okay, all you Modern Lovers, sing!"

- When Jemaine says "FAST FORWARD SELECTAH!" in "Boom".

I just like that.
now let me tell you what *i* think

Adverse Advice III

As many of you know, I will occasionally offer Dear Abby-style advice on life, love, work, and home to all who ask. Recently, this feature has come under attack by those who say that all of my advice involves telling people to eat a dick. Nothing could be farther from the truth; I have often, in the past, suggested that people explore a wide range of options, including sucking a dick, licking a dick, licking my balls, and the sticking of things up asses. As for the people who accuse my column of being unhelpful, negative, vulgar and hostile, I believe they would all benefit from eating a big fat ol' greasy dick.

Having already been unfairly banned by law from answering questions originally sent to Dear Abby, Ask the Headhunter and Savage Love, I turn to you, the loyal Skullbucket reader. If you have problems or troubles that are preventing you from enjoying life to the fullest: please, explain them here. I will answer any and all questions to help YOU have a better existence.

Just no questions about Gyppoes and Bohunks or I have to cut your glands off. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

Psssh! Am I right?

More like BOREge Washington, right? I mean, more like LAMES Monroe! You know what I'm saying? I mean, more like Andrew HACKson! Get it? Like, I mean, like, more like YAWN Tyler! Or James K. JOKE! Right folks? More like Zachary GAYlor. You know what I'm saying? It's like, like James PUKE-cannon! And his successor, Abraham STINKON, right folks? I mean, like, more like James A. BARField! And Grover SKEEVEland, you know what I'm sayin? Fwah! I mean, more like Theodore BLOWSevelt! Am I right, folks, or was it Calvn BLEW-lidge! OR, you know, totally Dwight D. LIESenhower!

I can't wait until I grow up and there will be a Gawker in the world.