July 21st, 2008

stella stella can't you hear me yella

Whorin'

Fans of fictional urbanism, The City Desk is the place for you. Why not start off with this piece about a man who, for decades, was Swedish under false pretenses? I wrote it, and that means it's ridiculous.

When you're done there, wander over to the Onion AV Club and check out the latest Inventory to which I contributed, about teen scare movies. Join the rest of the internet in pointing out what we forgot to include!
banana

Return of the Monday Poll

Take as needed for pain.

Poll #1227087 Monday Poll #7,829: Goin' Ape! (Note: poll contains no apes.)

How do you do your taxes?

I do them myself
45(60.0%)
I have an accountant
5(6.7%)
I employ a tax preparer
5(6.7%)
My spouse/s.o. does them
7(9.3%)
A friend or family member does them
6(8.0%)
I don't do my taxes because I don't have any money
2(2.7%)
I don't do my taxes because I am not an American citizen
1(1.3%)
I don't do my taxes because I am a tax protester
0(0.0%)
I don't do my taxes because I am a criminal
3(4.0%)
I'm fine, thanks, and how did you know my nickname was "Yourtaxes"?
1(1.3%)

What villain should be featured in the next Batman movie?

Catwoman
15(20.3%)
Clayface
4(5.4%)
Killer Croc
5(6.8%)
Man-Bat
5(6.8%)
Mr. Freeze
4(5.4%)
Hugo Strange
6(8.1%)
The Penguin
2(2.7%)
The Riddler
11(14.9%)
Poison Ivy
5(6.8%)
Bane
1(1.4%)
Ten-Eyed Man
2(2.7%)
Tweedledum & Tweedledee
2(2.7%)
The Calculator
4(5.4%)
Mr. Polka Dot
2(2.7%)
other (see Comments)
6(8.1%)

When did THAT happen?

The other day, when you were at the store.
5(6.8%)
Just now! Dude, I can't believe you missed it!
9(12.3%)
What are you talking about? That's been there for years.
24(32.9%)
Things like that don't just HAPPEN.
15(20.5%)
It happened gradually, over all that time you took me for granted.
20(27.4%)

Check all that apply.

I am the parent of a child.
3(5.8%)
I am the grandparent of a child.
0(0.0%)
I am the uncle/aunt of a child.
12(23.1%)
I am the owner of a pet, but I talk about it as if it were a child.
12(23.1%)
I have heard "Be a Father to Your Child" by Ed O.G. & da Bulldogs.
6(11.5%)

If there was a disease named for you, what would its symptoms be?