November 12th, 2008

whats on the tee vee

Whatever it is, there is more

KINGMAN: Okay, Question of the Day.

TIM: Oh, God. I hate Question of the Day.

ERIN: Why? You get free coffee.

TIM: No, you get free coffee anyway. On the rare occasion that one of us gets it 'right', he just points to the coffee machine.

ERIN: Go ahead, boss.

KINGMAN: If you had a working time machine, what's the first thing you would do?

TIM: If I had a working time machine? As opposed to what I would do if I had a broken time machine?

ERIN: Just answer the question.

TIM: Uh, I guess I'd go back in time and kill Hitler.

DOOLEY: Booooooo!

TIM: You're booing that?

DOOLEY: That answer sucks, dude.

TIM: Why?

DOOLEY: Well, first of all...

TIM: First of all?

DOOLEY: I mean, aside from all the time paradoxes, and, I mean, how do you know someone else wouldn't have killed all those Jews?

TIM: This is amazing.

DOOLEY: Also, it's trite.

TIM: It's trite. Killing Hitler and preventing the bloodshed of WWII is trite.

DOOLEY: It's been done.

TIM: It has not been done.

ERIN: I'd go back in time and stop you two from having this conversation.
life of the mind

My hind goes marching on

1. I am not doing the "If you saw me in a police car…" meme. I think it probably works better coming from people who haven't actually been arrested multiple times.

2. I am also not doing the A-Z of beauty care meme, because I am not a pretty lady, and my beauty care regimen consists largely of making sure most of the food stays on the inside of my mouth.

3. Here, though, is something I said to a co-worker yesterday evening.

"It's difficult for me to even approach what feminism means to me. Since I am not a woman, there is a large part of me that thinks that I have no business calling myself a feminist, and that any such designation has to come from women. But what it comes down to is this: women are human. And when one group of humans is consistently oppressed – consciously or unconsciously, with or without their knowledge – it poisons the well, and makes all of us a little less human. I believe that not only are the social differences between men and women constructed and artificial, but even the physical differences are arbitrarily imbued with vice or value. Society's treatment of women since at least the dawn of agriculturalism has strangled human potential in more vast quantities than slavery, and sexism is more common, more acceptable, and more invidious than racism. As for women's potential, that is up to the women, but the work cannot even be begun until we become a society constantly on guard against, and at war with, sexism. For you to say that you dislike identifying yourself as a feminist because of the understandable excess of a few women so identified is just further proof of sexism's poisonous influence on us all.

On the other hand, you have a really hot ass, so I don't know what to think."


Signed,
SAD FACE
whats on the tee vee

C Quench L

I think I might be getting a cold, so I just took a Vitamin C horse pill. It was actually the size of a horse. It had a horse worth* of Vitamin C.

Anyway:

***

TIM: Okay, so, what would you do with a time machine, then, smart guy?

DOOLEY: I would go back and stop you from killing Hitler.

TIM: Wh...so now we both have time machines.

DOOLEY: Yes.

TIM: And you’re using yours to keep me from killing history’s greatest monster.

DOOLEY: Hear me out.

TIM: I can’t wait.

DOOLEY: The next thing I would do would be to buy a copy of Captain America #1, see?

ERIN: Guys, we do have deadlines.

DOOLEY: I’ve always wanted one.

TIM: Uh huh.

DOOLEY: And if I let you kill Hitler, it would be rendered valueless.

KINGMAN: I’m taking away the free coffee.


*: I think I’m going to start using that as a term meaning ‘a great quantity’. “Damn it, Sarge, Jongquist may have been a snooty son of a gun, but he had a horseworth of guts.”