February 24th, 2009

typing for victory!

Real Life Tags

If I used tags for things that happened to me in life, here are some that would get used a lot.

- DRIVING: YOU ARE BAD AT IT
- MY MANY DISEASES
- YOU LIKE ONE THING
- THE INTERNET IS A SEWER
- SEX WAS FUN
- SQUALOR AHOY
- PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOT THOUGHT THINGS THROUGH
- I AM/WILL BE/WAS DRUNK
- HOW I AM WORSE THAN EVERYBODY
- HOW IF YOU THINK YOU ARE BETTER THAN ME I WILL VOW TO DESTROY YOU
- YOU ARE BORING
- ARGUMENTS THAT SHOULD END WITH YOU BEING SHOT IN THE FACE
that's that

Shut the fuck up, you're the piano man

There are issues which, though they should by any reasonable estimation have been settled long ago, are still being debated nearly into the second decade of the 21st century. In our world today, when we can literally transmit information at the speed of light, when we are as far removed from our primitive ancestors as the Earth is from Sirius, we are still debating the right and wrong, the false and true, of topics that should have been laid to rest when the lingua franca of the human race was savage grunting and frenetic arm-waving. Primary among these is this question: “Is William Martin Joel the worst popular musician in all of recorded history, or is he not?” The answer – a yes so resounding that you pray it will deafen you rather than leave the slightest chance you will have to hear “Uptown Girl” one more time – seems as obvious as gravitation, and yet there are those who contest its truth even as I commit it now to eternal, unchanged electrons.

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