August 1st, 2009


Your Sausage Moment

Goodness knows why I am compelled to analyze puff pieces I find on the internet. It does no one any good whatsoever.

Anyway, here is this '7 Traits of Irresistible Men' thing on Yahoo!, and at one point, it says this.

2. He Radiates Calm. It's sending shivers up our spine just thinking about how powerful a man's calm presence can be. Neurotic or hyper or frenzied is stressful, no matter how busy the man or what his excuse. But if he's got cool written all over his face and his gaze is pure steady and peaceful his sex appeal will shoot through the roof (think old-school James Dean).

Think, as you see, old-school James Dean.

If I may be impertinent?

1. Why "old-school" James Dean?
1a. James Dean died 54 years ago. Anything he did was, by definition, old school.
1b. He died when he was twenty-four years old, having made only three movies. His career cannot be, in any sensible way, divided into 'old-school' and 'new-school' phases.
2. Why, if you wanted to praise the quality of being calm, cool, unflappable, and smooth in the face of a crisis, would you cite James Dean?
2a. Dean was hardly known as a paragon of unflappability in his roles.
2b. In fact, the young Method actor was known for his highly vulnerable, smoldering, emotional outbursts.
2c. Look!

2d. This is one of James Dean's most famous scenes in his acting career, and no one in their right mind would describe him as "calm".
2e. I mean, why not, say, Robert Mitchum or Sterling Hayden?
3. In short this comment makes no sense whatsoever.