June 16th, 2010

get me outta here

Thoroughly Researched

It may come as a surprise to many of our readers that going outside is still a "thing". Let's take a look at the pros and cons of outside, and scientifically determine if it is "worth it".

GOING OUTSIDE: THE CASE FOR
- nature is located outside
- most things that are not your house and the things in your house can only be reached by going outside
- some necessities and most luxury items are only to be found outside of your house
- it is necessary to go outside to get anywhere that is not your house
- some socializing is done outside
- people in your house you may like might occasionally want to go outside
- going outside inspires you to look, act slightly less awful than you do in isolation

GOING OUTSIDE: THE CASE AGAINST
- most people are outside, and almost all of them are terrible
- most things now available on the internet
- outside is not heated, air conditioned
- going outside costs money, while staying at home is free
- when you go outside people will hit you with cars
- if you go outside often enough someone will give you a job
- you're only going to have to come back inside again anyway

CONCLUSION: Do not go outside your house, it is bad.