Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

I'm shaking the Parmesan!

Speaking of "Where's my burrito?", I've recently been developing a number of potential catchphrases. My hope is that one of them will catch on and become part of the everyday vernacular of early 21st-century America, thus ensuring that my reputation will outlast the death of my flabby body sometime in 2007 from arterial sclerosis.

Here are the five leading candidates.

'Crippling': New word denoting excellence and awesomeness. Usage: "Did you see Korn on Dick Clark’s New Year’s Angst-Rockin’ Eve last night? They were absolutely crippling!”

‘‘Felded’: Stupid, incompetent, or retarded in a particularly self-aggrandizing manner. Derived from beloved comic book creator Rob Liefeld. Usage: “Marty told me that he was an All-American in high school, even though now he weighs 425 pounds and can’t eat soup without poking himself in the ear with the spoon. That guy is totally ‘felded.”

‘Fuck you, schoolboy’: Generic insult used against anyone younger than you, even by only two hours. Especially useful against a younger person who has some authority over you. Usage: “Fuck you, schoolboy!”

‘I just sleep in the Dumpster’: Used when abdicating responsibility for something. Usage: “Hey, man, don’t blame me because my company gave all your children oversized tumors on their kidneys. I just sleep in the Dumpster.”

‘Crunley’: Refers to both a pop-cultural artifact which one genuinely enjoys, but in an ironic fashion, but not too ironic, but not too sincerely either, and to one’s feelings about the artifact in question. Usage: “Three’s Company…I dunno…it’s kinda crunley, you know what I’m saying?”

Poll #283389 Time to get harspy!

With which exciting new slang term should I attempt to take the world by storm?

Crippling
3(7.9%)
'Felded
3(7.9%)
Fuck you, schoolboy
17(44.7%)
I just sleep in the Dumpster
7(18.4%)
Crunley
3(7.9%)
They're all so great, I can't decide
4(10.5%)
You've come up with some pretty dumb-ass poll questions in your time, Leonard, but this one is by far the most 'felded
1(2.6%)
Tags: junk, laffs
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    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

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