Today's Shitlist: television. What are the worst TV shows you've ever seen? Now, again, to clarify: here, I don't mean "campy bad", like 'Beverly Hills 90210', with which I was mildly obsessed in the early 1990s. Nor do I mean "so bad that it's good", or "bad but I watch it all the time anyway", like a lot of my friends are with reality-TV shows. What I mean is horribly and unrepententantly bad, ill-conceived, horrible, incompetent, and so unwatchably malpracticed that not only should it never be watched, but it never should have been made, and our nation's top physicists should get to work on the development of a time machine in order to travel backwards and perform messy, painful late-term abortions on the mothers of the people who produced it. What are the five absolutely worst television shows you've ever had the bad luck of seeing?