Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

Choose Your Own

CHOOSE YOUR OWN SADVENTURE

Do you:

...sit in your room scribbling furiously in your scented journal with a red rollerball marker about how everyone will be sorry when you are dead and they've lost you forever?

OR

...go to the party anyway, but spend the whole time sitting by yourself on a chair near a window, sipping on a wine cooler and gazing wistfully into the void while secretly hoping someone will ask what's wrong?

CHOOSE YOUR OWN BADVENTURE

Do you:

...beat the snitch down in public using a sawed-off pool cue, then after you're finished, say something pithy about his unstylish wardrobe, wipe the bloody cue on his out-of-fashion trousers, and spin it around on your fingers before putting it back in your hip pocket?

OR

...run over the snitch in your pimpmobile, and then when your bitch asks you what happened, light up a menthol, take a long hit, and say in a relaxed basso profundo "I think we hit a patch of grass, baby"?

CHOOSE YOUR OWN TRADVENTURE

Do you:

...shell out a hundred and fifty bucks for the Bear Family CD reissue so you can lord it over your friends by having the previously unreleased first studio version that never appeared on any of the official singles or B-sides?

OR

...scoff at those who shelled out a hundred and fifty buchs for the Bear Family CD reissue because CDs are a total sellout and not knowing at least half the catalogue is well worth it because at least you're listening to the stuff on vinyl the way it was meant to be heard?

CHOOSE YOUR OWN BRADVENTURE

Do you:

...take the role of a gorgeous but tormented hero, knowing it's another five mil in your bank account and you can get through the rough patches in the script by smoking a lot of weed and the critics will talk about the "profundity" and "depth" of your performance?

OR

...take a year off too look for a really decent script for once, knowing that it will mean having to hear Jennifer bitch about having a baby day in and day out and then ask you if she's getting fat?

CHOOSE YOUR OWN JADVENTURE

Do you:

...record another album with David?

OR

...call Ira Kaplan on the phone and bug him for an hour and a half?
Tags: laffs
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