Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator


Hello. I am home from a brief and generally pleasant stay in San Francisco. Here are things.

1. I was not, unarmed during my stay. I was armed with a blade, even during the wedding; a blade not entirely unlike the ones used to commandeer certain flights that took place three years back to a bad end. I had that selfsame blade in my carry-on bag when I got on the plane going to and coming from SF, and not a peep was made from the numerous security personnel. Something to think about next time you fly.

2. I did, however, cavort around my hotel room in my underwear in the presence of two ladies. There were also two other ladies in the hotel, within my vision, who were naked, but not the same two ladies. There was also alcohol involved. That's probably why this story is so confusing. I'll tell you this: any hotel that provides to me, within two minutes of my arrival in my room, an uninterrupted view of a naked chick will get my custom again.

3. Relatively little was done by me during my stay. I played chess (and lost) with an ancient Chinese man in a park; I hung out and looked at (non-naked) ladies in another park; I watched three movies, one of which ("Collateral") was uninspiring, one of which ("The Ladykillers") was very good despite having a bad reputation, and one of which ("Hellboy") was bad despite having a good reputation; I ate some good food; I brought myself to the verge of a heart attack in my hotel's fitness center; and I went to Chinatown. I meant to take pictures of these dull activities but I kept forgetting to put batteries in my camera. It's just as well. When I came home (after sitting next to a very crazy man on the train), there was a bunch of Harry Stephen Keeler stuff waiting on my doorstep, which made me both happy and filled with dread.

4. People report: cleotyne is a swell broad. Leigh Bailey is gracious and kind. yuriverse and Nick Verne are extraordinary fellows who I feel privileged to have met. janehex and brianchurch are adorable and I would like to announce that I am adopting them so that Brian will stop crying. fiberpunk and kuda are two of my favorite people in all of the world and I wish them nothing but well forever.

5. The wedding was fine despite the weather-curse I placed on it in revenge for there not being any hookers. fiberpunk 's family are much as I pictured them; his brother is a good guy and fiberpunk is lucky to have someone like that to tend to the armament subsystems of his robotic exoskeleton. (Incidentally, I did hit on fiberpunk 's sisters, but I did it in the same way I hit on Comic Book Shop Girl. Since this way involves not speaking, gesturing, or communicating in any way, I don't think they noticed.) kudaspeaks 's family is, contrary to her claim, much more mobbed up than I imagined, to the degree that they passed around a money bucket a la the opening scene of "The Godfather" and said that we should fill it with what's in our wallets or they would fill it themselves with our teeth. Luckily I escaped unscathed because they took one look at my hat and assumed I was a made man. I will post pictures at some point when I can figure how to make them semi-private.


P.S. Birthday uneventful. Dinner, drinks, good food. Old now. Thanks for those who wished me greetin's.
Tags: diary

  • The Party of What People?

    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

  • Anno Terribilis

    2016, the little year that absolutely could not, is almost over, and with the exception of people for whom it was a raging success —…

  • Shalom and the Jewish Jesus

    Shalom Auslander got the best possible start on having a sickly fatalistic sense of humor:  he was a miserable Jew from the day he was born. As…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.