Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

Well, there's just no way this could go wrong

A NETWORK OF UNREGULATED, ARMED MILITIAS ALL OVER THE WORLD? THIS IS A TOTALLY GREAT IDEA!

The Pentagon has urged Congress to authorize 500 million dollars for building a network of friendly militias around the world to purge terrorists from "ungoverned areas" -- and warned Muslim clerics against providing "ideological sanctuary" to radicals.

REMEMBER HOW WELL THIS WORKED DURING THE COLD WAR?

Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz, a key architect of the Iraq war, told the House Armed Services Committee Tuesday the money would be used "for training and equipping local security forces -- not just armies -- to counter terrorism and insurgencies."

BUT THESE ARE THE GOOD KIND OF TRIBAL WARLORDS

The strategy has already been tried in Afghanistan, where US special forces managed to forge alliances with some tribal warlords, who became instrumental in bringing down the Taliban government in 2001 and keeping its remnants at bay, said US military experts.

THOSE TRIBAL WARLORDS WILL BE HAVING ELECTIONS ANY DAY NOW

"Indeed, our most important allies in the war on terrorism will be Muslims who seek freedom and oppose extremism," Wolfowitz stated.

THEY'LL GO THROUGH A RIGOROUS VETTING PROCESS OF SAYING THEY WILL KILL OUR ENEMIES

To help establish contact with local chieftains and get into their good graces, the Pentagon is considering hiring immigrants to serve as "bicultural advisors" in unfamiliar areas and implementing a number of economic aid projects there, according to defense officials.

MY PROGRAM, BY A HAPPY COINCIDENCE, WILL ALSO ALLOW FOR CENSORING THE INTERNET

In addition, Wolfowitz called for tightening control over international communication networks, including the Internet. He argued that extremist clerics provide cover to militants "by sanctioning terrorism, by recruiting new adherents, and by intimidating moderate clerics from speaking out against them."

LOOKS LIKE WE'LL NEED TO DITCH SOME OF THOSE FREEDOMS, BOYS

He did not say what additional measures could be taken to prevent terrorists from exploiting freedoms in the United States, but pointed out it would involve "difficult decisions."
Tags: news, politics
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