Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

Clean my mess hole

So there's a giant pothole in the alley behind our building. And, okay, it's pretty irritating, and I've called our alderman (the redoubtable Dick Mell) about it.

But in the meantime, someone in the neighborhood decided the best temporary solution would be to pack the giant pothole with crushed particleboard. Now, I know what you're thinkin':

1. How much use can crushed particleboard be in filling a pothole?

2. Wouldn't the cars just smash the particleboard down into the pothole, rendering it entirely pointless?

3. It also sounds like it would be really unappealing to look at, a pothole filled with dirty crushed particleboard.

4. Plus, it might rain, and then you'd have a bunch of wet, soggy particleboard everywhere, which would smell and look bad as well as doing absolutely nothing to alleviate the effects of the pothole.

5. And if there's a strong wind, as there often is in Chic, it would blow the pulverized, wet, stinky crushed particleboard all over the alleyway, making it look like a very tiny spinoff of Hurricane Ivan hit Albany Park.

6. Overall, you'd have to be a total fucking moron to fill a huge pothole with crushed particle board.

7. Especially if you could have just called the alderman's office, whose job it is to fix things like that.

And you know what? You're thinkin' right.
Tags: diary

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