Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

So apparently it was "International Talk Like a Pirate" day again. I don't really like International Talk Like a Pirate Day, because I'm not as enthused about the whole pirate 'thing' as are some people (I find robots and monkeys funny and pirates merely amusing), and I thought Johnny Depp was overpraised for his bewildering turn in that movie based on a Disney amusement park ride. That said, I am not entirely heartless, and I am all in favor of people spending an entire day speaking in a bizarre, affected manner. So I'd like to propose that tomorrow on LiveJournal be a sort of linguistic Festivus -- a holiday (consisting of talking funny) for the rest of us (who don't necessarily want to talk like pirates).

I have come up with several alternatives for which I implore you to register your preference, and then tomorrow you can make your normal posts in this deranged persona in order to show the world that there is an alternative to the tyranny of pirate talk. Of course, alternate suggestions are welcome in comments as are gratuitous insults of me as a humorless prick for not liking International Talk Like a Pirate Day, but here's the alternatives I have come up with:

1. International Talk Like a Gangster Day. Participants are encouraged to make repeated references to gats, geetus and galluses, to call their girlfriends a real swell frail or their boyfriends a good egg, and to inject "see" at the end of every sentence. Touchstone: Jimmy Cagney.

2. International Talk Like a Fop Day. Participants are encouraged to affect the manner of a 1920s British schoolboy, to call things "ripping" and to refer to conversations as "pie-jaw". Any suggestion should be preceded by "I say, here's fun!". Retarded-sounding cackles encouraged. Touchstone: Bertie Wooster.

3. International Talk Like a Commie Day. Participants are encouraged to make themselves sound like a Soviet propaganda poster or to ape the manner of Chairman Mao's little red book. Discourage people from doing things by urging them to "reject absolutely the jackal-headed spectre" of that thing. Talk about counterrevolutionary backsliders. Touchstone: V.I. Lenin.

4. International Talk Like That Nerdy Toadying Effeminate Sleazeball With a Pencil Mustache Who's in Every Wushu Flick Day. Participants are encouraged to snivel, connive, and go apeshit around women. Touchstone: Wei Ping-Ao.

5. International Talk Like William Shatner Day. Participants are encouraged to ham it up, overemote and act like they're having a massive bowel movement every time they say a line. Say "sabo-tadge". Touchstone: William Shatner.

Your thoughts, SVP?

Poll #352801 International Talk Like a Something Day

What should everyone in the world talk like tomorrow?

a 1930s gangster
a foppish British schoolboy
a communist propaganda pamphlet
the nerdy toadying effeminate sleazeball with a pencil mustache in every wushu flick
William Shatner
Tags: junk, polls


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