Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

MAILBAG!

1. The October issue of Keeler News, the bulletin of the Harry Stephen Keeler Society. Features a piece on the movie version of "Sing Sing Nights", an announcement of this year's Imitate Keeler Competition, a long exchange of letters between HSK and August 'Gus' Derleth, and best of all, not only a letter from me and a notation of my membership renewal, but a gratuitous and kindly plug for my upcoming article in the High Hat about Keeler.

CRASSNESS LEVEL: 0.

2. New health insurance card from Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Illinois, along with incomprehensible letter 'explaining' why new card had to be issued. Does not ask for money.

CRASSNESS LEVEL: 2.

3. Schedule & promotional material for Chicago International Children's Film Festival. Does not ask for money, but was sent with the understanding that I attend the festival and then write nice things about it for the rag who got it for me, so is not entirely free of the taint of merchandising.

CRASSNESS LEVEL: 3.

4. Begging letter from the DNC, along with my DNC 2004 membership card, some historical materials, and a fun poll about my political beliefs and policy priorities. Not that awful, and even allows me to send in the poll without money.

CRASSNESS LEVEL: 5.

5. Begging letter from the DNC's Presidential Victory Fund asking for $25-40 to help John Kerry become Head Nigga In Charge. Contains no extraneous content other than a plea for money.

CRASSNESS LEVEL: 7.

6. Rejection letter from certain publication informing me some four months after I first applied that I will not be getting a job on their film desk. Politely worded letter, delightfully enough, is accompanied by subscription card that allows me to subscribe to the publication at a discount. In other words, no, they will not be offering me a lucrative and prominent position, but they will give me the chance to send them money.

CRASSNESS LEVEL: 71,649.
Tags: diary, laffs
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