Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

Today's letters

1.

Dear Co-Worker Who Wears Way Too Much Cologne,

Please do not use my phone again, ever.

Threateningly,

Leon

2.

Dear SBC,

I hate you with the burning rage of a million angry supernovas. Ten years have passed -- TEN YEARS -- since I moved to Chicago, and you have managed to find a way to fuck up my phone service on a near monthly basis that entire time. It is stressful enough to feud with a utility for a week, but a decade tries even my saintly patience. Please all die of a quick but painful and socially humiliating disease.

Threateningly,

Leonchik

3.

Dear caramel apple pie from Costco,

Holy fuck.

Piggishly,

Leonardo
Tags: crankery, diary, eats, work
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