Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

The annotated inaugural

AND A GREAT BEAST ROSE IN THE EAST, AND THE SEAS WERE OF BLOOD

After the shipwreck of communism came years of relative quiet, years of repose, years of sabbatical. And then there came a day of fire.

AND THAT IS THE FORCE OF DAISY-CUTTER BOMBS. NO, WAIT

There is only one force of history that can break the reign of hatred and resentment, and expose the pretensions of tyrants, and reward the hopes of the decent and tolerant, and that is the force of human freedom.

A FREEDOM REFLECTED IN THAT GLORIOUS DOCUMENT, THE USA-PATRIOT ACT

We are led by events and common sense to one conclusion: The survival of liberty in our land increasingly depends on the success of liberty in other lands. The best hope for peace in our world is the expansion of freedom in all the world.

CAPITALISM=FREEDOM

America's vital interests and our deepest beliefs are now one.

THAT IS TO SAY, GOD! THE CHRISTIAN ONE

From the day of our founding, we have proclaimed that every man and woman on this earth has rights and dignity and matchless value because they bear the image of the maker of heaven and earth.

OFFER NOT AVAILABLE IN ISRAEL, PAKISTAN, NORTH KOREA

So it is the policy of the United States to seek and support the growth of democratic movements and institutions in every nation and culture, with the ultimate goal of ending tyranny in our world.

EXCEPT THE GAY MINORITIES

Freedom by its nature must be chosen and defended by citizens and sustained by the rule of law and the protection of minorities.

UNLESS THEY DO SOMETHING CRAZY LIKE ELECT COMMIES OR ISLAMIC FUNDAMENTALISTS

America will not impose our own style of government on the unwilling.

NOTE: I AM NOT PREPARED TO DEFEND THIS STATEMENT

We will persistently clarify the choice before every ruler and every nation, the moral choice between oppression, which is always wrong, and freedom, which is eternally right.

OR THIS ONE, ESPECIALLY FOR HOMOS, POOR PEOPLE, AND DEMOCRATS

America's belief in human dignity will guide our policies. Yet rights must be more than the grudging concessions of dictators. They are secured by free dissent and the participation of the governed. In the long run, there is no justice without freedom and there can be no human rights without human liberty.

DISSENT ALWAYS WELCOME, SORT OF

Some I know have questioned the global appeal of liberty, though this time in history -- four decades defined by the swiftest advance of freedom ever seen -- is an odd time for doubt.

OFFER NOT AVAILABLE IN KURDISTAN, MYANMAR OR UZBEKISTAN

Today America speaks anew to the peoples of the world. All who live in tyranny and hopelessness can know the United States will not ignore your oppression or excuse your oppressors. When you stand for your liberty we will stand with you.

ALSO, YOU ARE EITHER WITH US OR WITH THE TERRORISTS

And all the allies of the United States can know we honor your friendship, we rely on your counsel, and we depend on your help. Division among free nations is a primary goal of freedom's enemies.

NOT THE DEAD ONES, OF COURSE

Yet, because we have acted in the great liberating tradition of this nation, tens of millions have achieved their freedom.

WHY, YES, I AM A REPUBLICAN, WHY DO YOU ASK?

In America's ideal of freedom, citizens find the dignity and security of economic independence instead of laboring on the edge of subsistence.

ALL OF WHICH I AM CURRENTLY IN THE PROCESS OF DISMANTLING

This is the broader definition of liberty that motivated the Homestead Act, the Social Security Act and the GI Bill of Rights.

BY "REFORMING", OF COURSE, I MEAN "ELIMINATING"

And now we will extend this vision by reforming great institutions to serve the needs of our time.

I SLEEP JUST FINE AT NIGHT, THANKS FOR ASKING

We will widen the ownership of homes and businesses, retirement savings and health insurance.

LIKE, SAY, SLAVERY

Americans move forward in every generation by reaffirming all that is good and true that came before, ideals of justice and conduct that are the same yesterday, today and forever.

LISTEN UP, ARABS AND QUEERS, THIS ONE'S FOR YOU

And our country must abandon all the habits of racism because we cannot carry the message of freedom and the baggage of bigotry at the same time.

I DON'T MEAN THE GUANTANAMO CAPTIVES

And we can feel that same unity and pride whenever America acts for good and the victims of disaster are given hope, and the unjust encounter justice, and the captives are set free.
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