Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

James Lileks' State of the Union

DAMN THOSE ELDERLY BASTARDS, USING THEIR SPIN MACHINE TO RUIN THE PRESIDENT'S BRILLIANT SCHEME

I thought the Social Security section was strong, but whether it built up a head of steam to blast through the headwinds to come I can’t say. If the AARP puts out ads showing the spats-clad Monopoly man yanking checks from the hands of seniors and lighting rotund cheroots, what was said last night will make little difference.

THE PRESIDENT HAS CHOSEN OUR NEXT TWO PAPER TIGERS WISELY

The challenge to Syria was nice, a public echo of what I suspect has been said in private. And hello, Egypt! Welcome to the Axis of Damn Well Better Get Your Act Together!

I FULLY ACCEPTED THE MANIPULATIVE PROPAGANDA RETROACTIVELY ONCE IT WAS EXPLAINED TO ME

The moment between the survivors of the fallen soldier and the Iraqi would have impressed me more if I knew what was going on; that’s the problem with the radio. But once I knew what the sustained applause was all about, I got gooseflesh in retrospect.

FOR SOME REASON, LIBERALS HAVE FAILED TO APPRECIATE THE PRESIDENT'S TRUTHFULNESS

Of course, the clever kids rolled their eyes at the Axis of Evil, but I loved it then and love it today. Partly because it’s, well, oh, what’s the word? TRUE.

I WOULD PREFER TO BE LED BY A DETERMINED, CLEAR-THINKING FICTIONAL CHARACTER, NOT BY AN ACTUAL PERSON WHO THINKS THINGS THROUGH

And partly because it has such a retro Captain America vibe so at odds with the interminably nuanced rhetoric of a Davosian struggling to find the right words to deplore Chinese infanticide without giving anyone the idea he’s acting from some sense of religious inspiration.

YOU KNOW THE KIND I MEAN

That sort can be counted upon to claim we have a moral duty to do any number of things, but will rarely identify anything as immoral.

AND NOW, A GRATUITOUS ACCUSATION OF HICK-BASHING BY LEFTISTS

Leave that word for the dopes who pack the buses to Branson.

THE PRESS IS OUT TO GET THE PRESIDENT, AT LEAST THOSE MEMBERS OF THE PRESS WHO AREN'T ON HIS PAYROLL

But I’ve never thought that the stumble-tongued public Bush was the same in private; he’s just one of those guys who gets frequently spooked by cameras and a roomful of guys with pens in hand and murder in mind.

FOR SOME REASON, I HAVE CHOSEN TO GO INTO A BIZARRE DIGRESSION IN WHICH I COMPARE TED TURNER TO CASTRO AND ACCUSE HIM OF CONTEMPLATING NUCLEAR ARMAGEDDON FOR REASONS OF SHEER BOREDOM

I mean, Ted Turner can hold forth like Castro, but it doesn’t mean I want him staring at the red button, wondering whether he should save us all the bother and just get it over with now.

IN CONCLUSION, TO PROVE MY UTTER LACK OF SHAME OR SELF-AWARENESS, ONE PARAGRAPH AFTER ACCUSING THE LIBERAL ESTABLISHMENT OF HATING RED-STATE HICKS, I NOW MAKE FUN OF TED TURNER'S LAUGHABLE SOUTHERN ACCENT

"Ah’ll hold you in the next world, Jane. Oh, right, Ah’m an atheist. Sheet."
Tags: lileks watch, politics
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    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

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