Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

Coming this spring from Z3CBN, the Z-Brew Chicago Christian Children's Broadcasting Network

ADRIANA GONK, STUPID GIRL DETECTIVE. Sassy 'n' classy Adriana is the crime-attempting-to-solve daughter of Harry Gonk, a championship dynamite fisherman, and Coretta Butterscotch-Gonk, who writes angry letters to the local newspaper decrying the loss of the party lines which allowed one to eavesdrop on other peoples' private telephone conversations. Only 11 years old, Adriana has already made quite a name for herself on the crime-riddled South Side of Chicago by inserting herself into serious murder, kidnapping, sexual assault and robbery cases, trying to solve them the only way she knows how: using the exact same methods in her decades-old "Nancy Drew" books, whether or not they have any bearing on the specifics of whatever case she is preventing the police from handling. Will Adriana Gonk, Stupid Girl Detective, ever solve a case? Tune in and find out!

JINZOUNINGEN GANGU KANEKUI DOGITSUI!. Japan's smash-hit kid's TV show comes to America with big plans: selling just as much merchandise in the states as it has overseas! Follow the exciting adventures of the land of the rising sun's most shrill, overbearing cyborg as he fights crime, destroys monsters, goes to the indoor driving range, and delivers inexplicable sermons about Shintoist mythology in between lengthy exhortations to purchase more Jinzouningen Gangu Kanekui Dogitsui merchandise. JGKD is broadcast in the original Japanese language and translated by first-year community college students; subtitles are in flashing red digital letters half a foot high. A stock ticker displaying current share rates for the property's parent company scrolls throughout each episode, and if it drops below a certain level, the narrative is interrupted in favor of even more pleas to buy merchandise.

PHANTOM: THE MUSICAL: THE FILM: THE ANIMATED SERIES. An ongoing cartoon series based on the movie of the popular musical based on the play adapted from the novel, "Phantom" takes a few liberties with this classic tale of horror and bad synthesizer music in order to make it palatable for children. The Phantom is no longer a villain, but the protagonist of the series; and he is no longer a murderously psychopathic failed composer, but an irascible but well-meaning theatre critic. Also, instead of being hideously scarred, he just has a bad mustache. Each week, he sees a new production and initially wants to pan it, but by episode's end, his friends (including Candellaro, the comically clumsy Italian chandelier) convince him that saying you dislike a work of art might hurt someone's feelings, so it's better to just be nice and say you liked it. Original music by Andrew Lloyd Webber.
Tags: laffs, teevee

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