"I'm seeing The Pacifier! Vin Diesel is DYNAMITE!"
"I'll be performing at the Lucky Leprechaun Casino & Indoor Water Park in Sioux Falls, SD, three shows daily. 'Alone Again Naturally' is in the second encore, so stick around!"
"I wanna get together with some white guys and have them tell me how the Irishman was once called 'the nigger of of Europe'. Then we will laugh and laugh and laugh."
"I plan on celebrating the rampaging right-wing pseudo-populism that has gripped the nation, and fondly recalling the fourteen seconds when I was part of it."
"Oh, I reckon I'll just spend the day brainwashing your children, poisoning your family, destroying the environment, and cackling maniacally on a huge mountain of cash, same as I do every year. Happy St. Patrick's Day! And don't forget to buy a Shamrock Shake!"